"You are a (beep)..."

 "You are a (beep)..."

....he'd keep telling me. (beep) here is a placeholder for a very colorful word he used which is inappropriate to be mentioned here on LinkedIn.

We all love to try new things. Some work some don't. But whatever you try needs to be based on some study, discipline and process. If you take liberty to deviate from the plan then it's you who are to be blamed for the failure and not destiny/external factors. Last year I tried my hand at something new. I was fairly sure I'd be successful at it if I studied about it well and followed up with good execution and discipline. I found someone who was good at it and we soon got pretty comfortable talking about our experience/learnings on a daily basis. While somewhere we both were helping each other become better at it, there was one thing that separated him from me. Ability to stick to the process and plan - without letting emotions bring in a cognitive bias.

Eventually my inability to stick to the plan meant I was failing a lot. Everytime I shared my failed experience with him he'd say "You are a (beep)" followed by his take on why I should not have done what I did.. I'd know he was right and then tried to avoid the same mistakes again. Yet, over a period of time such mistakes kept happening and there came a time when all he replied to me was

"You are a (beep)"
"You are a (beep)"
"You are a (beep)"

..without even bothering to explain (like he used to earlier) coz he knew I knew what I was doing incorrectly and he no longer had to take the effort to repeat his views. It was certainly annoying when I'd share my failure again and all he'd say was "You are a (beep)", yet in a few minutes or hours I'd know he wasn't wrong in calling me out. The word hurt - but I knew it was apt to drive the message home.

We all need that one friend ( or set of friends ) in our personal lives who never hesitate to call out our bull**** or incorrect behaviors/actions, but given that we spend so much of our lives at work, it is so important to have such colleagues turned friends around you at work to poke you or pinch you everytime they notice you are deviating from your desired goal/behavior or plainly indulging in bull**** that needs to be avoided. Colleague/friends at work from whom you are open to receive criticism is something that's as important as having colleagues/friends who are supportive at work.

The bloke I mention here is Manan Sampat and while I dropped whatever I was trying to do while I first met him, we continue to be good friends beyond the episode.

I hope you already have that guy/gal at work who will call you a (beep) when needed. If not, here's wishing you luck to find one soon.

Click here to read this on Linkedin.