"...Yokozuna Went To Poona On His Luna Eating Chuna..."

"...Yokozuna Went To Poona On His Luna Eating Chuna..."

...the clamour kept getting louder.

Our school had just ended and we were all waiting in a queue to board the school bus. We were all relieved that our favorite bus [no. 1292] was allocated to our route today and not a khataara (as we called it) bus [no. 117]. 1292 had tinted windows, nice foam seats and a music system. 117 had none of these. It was an old ragged bus.

While we were waiting, we witnessed something unpleasant. Our bus driver was yelling at someone. Apparently, the guy he was yelling at was an auto driver who had just brushed the side of the bus while recklessly overtaking another vehicle. The argument concluded and he opened the bus door for us to get in.

A few mins into the ride, some of us kids sitting in the first few rows started talking about WWF (later rechristened to WWE). Hulk Hogan was my favorite, while my friend loved Bret Hart Hitman. Out of the blue, one of the kids blabbered what I quoted above. Yokozuna was another famous wrestler from WWF. A sumo wrestler and a fabulous performer. Soon, we all started yelling "...Yokozuna Went To Poona On His Luna Eating Chuna..." [Poona is a city near Mumbai, Luna was a moped brand in the 80s, Chuna is a white paste used in a pan].

The driver was already in a bad mood after the altercation. So the cleaner sitting in the cabin next to the driver Sshhhed us a few times, but in vain. To everyone's surprise, the driver suddenly joined the chant, smiling, probably not even aware who or what Yokozuna was. 

It's amazing how, in any situation or place, a burst of positivity/joy transforms the mood of that one individual who is in the exact opposite frame of mind. I am sure we all know of such co-workers and friends who can lift our spirits with their banter/pranks no matter what situation we are in. These guys are life savers.

The Yokozuna chant abruptly ended just a minutes later at the next traffic signal. Our bus came next to 117. The chant immediately switched to "117 khataara bus". This time, the driver knew better not to participate in the vilification of the poor old bus.

On that note, wish you all a fun filled and joyous 2023.

P.S.: Agatupu Rodney Anoaʻi (1966 – 2000) wrestled in the WWF under the name Yokozuna, a reference to the highest rank in professional sumo wrestling in Japan. [Wikipedia]

"...Aap pilaoge toh pakka piyungi..."

"...Aap pilaoge toh pakka piyungi..."

...said the old lady, with a weak smile. ["If you buy it, I'll surely drink"]

After the jog at the beach this morning, I went to the soup/salad guy for my usual bowl of corn chana salad. When it comes to the morning beach, one always spots the same set of population -  people running/jogging, exercising, playing or walking dogs. Senior citizens are a major part of the crowd though. Most have a gang who engage in some exercises/laughter therapy followed by light banter.

So when I sat and ordered a bowl, the other 3 chairs were occupied by 3 senior citizens. One lady (who I had earlier spotted at the entrance while I entered. She was getting out of her chauffer driven BMW) and a couple of gentlemen. They were all  enjoying a cup of soup. The lady was quiet and seemed lost in her thoughts, just nodding when the two gents looked at her while talking.

When all three of them were done drinking their soups, each paid for their respective soups. After taking the money, the vendor asked the lady to try out the new soup that the gents had just tried. "No way, I am already full with the first one!" she declared, waiving her left hand. "But the soup is really superb, you must try it!'' said one of the gents, adjusting his spects. The lady just nodded her head, indicating she wasn't keen. The gentleman had not given up yet. "Please try, I will pay for it. You must not miss it!" he insisted. At this point, the lady reluctantly gave in and agreed [saying what I quoted above].

After the moment, the lady seemed all perked up, chatting away to glory. She started sharing how she used to make various soups for her husband when he wasn't keeping well. The discussion then veered into their newly wed days. She narrated how she disliked all kinds of soups back then, but her mother-in-law egged her on to make them for their family. After a bit of banter, she bid her goodbyes and left, all smiles by now.

A few moments later, the gentleman reached out for his wallet and handed out a Rs. 50 note to the vendor. "She lost her husband earlier this year. He was bedridden for a long time. Her kids are abroad. She hasn't been herself since her husband passed." he said, looking at his friend as they got up to leave.

The Rs. 50 note that was passing hands at that moment would certainly have been proud of itself on hearing that. The gentleman handing it over had experienced the joy of giving, the gentleman accepting it had made a sale and the lady who consumed the sold product seemed to have left the morning beach with happy vibes. I am sure the Rs. 50 note travelling from wallet to wallet would have many such interesting stories to share - only if it could. 

There is so much joy in little things that cost nearly nothing.

"...don't ever speak to me if you can't even do this much for me...!"

"...don't ever speak to me if you can't even do this much for me...!"

...he said, nearly in tears. Lets call him Luigi. 

Luigi was a nice chap in my school, coming from a very well-mannered lower middle class family. He stayed near the school in a small one-room house.

Somewhere in the 7th grade, Luigi made a good friend. Let's call him Mario. They became best friends. Inseparable. Mario came from a good family - in terms of values and wealth.

Mario, being Mario, always spent generously on his friends. It goes without saying, Luigi was the most pampered and spoilt. He often took him to fancy restaurants, bought him a lot of stuff - a nice bi-cycle, a disc man, music cassettes/discs etc.

They always played after school in Luigi's compound. Cricket was their favorite sport. One week in the monsoon, it rained a lot. Mario & Luigi were sitting at Luigi's house. Mysterious girl, by Peter Andre played in the background (on speakers bought by Mario for Luigi). "I hate the rains! We can't go out! Let's buy a TV video game. Nintendo is nice!" suggested Luigi. Mario obliged and bought a Nintendo. The 64 in 1 game cartridge had 64 awesome games. I don't think anyone from my generation has not played on it - Super Mario Bros being everyone's favorite. Weeks passed and Luigi demanded Mario buy more cartridges. "The 299 in 1 has awesome games, including some great variants of Contra (another game)". Mario kept fulfilling all of his dear friend's wishes. However, he was starting to realise that his good friend was beginning to act entitled. 

"This new video game console from Sony has come. Much better than Nintendo. You gotta buy me that. We will both  have so much fun playing it!" Luigi declared. Mario had endured enough of his demands by now. He refused. Luigi kept pleading but Mario did not budge. That's when Luigi said what I quoted above. 

Over the following months, the friendship fell apart. Mario felt Luigi was more interested in his money and not in his friendship. Luigi felt Mario was being arrogant by not spending on things he wanted. He had so much pocket money that he had no use of, he thought. One may think poorly of Luigi here, but he was a victim of his own circumstances. Coming from a modest family, he was not exposed to all the luxury that had started to come his way, making him addicted to it all. 

Yesterday evening, I passed by Luigi's house and the school while I was driving down somewhere with the family. Remembering Mario and Luigi's friendship I Whatsapped Mario - "Are you still in touch with Luigi? Any idea where he is?" The reply came quickly - "👎"

All of us have friends, family, colleagues & mentors who are resourceful. Not necessarily in terms of money, but also in terms of time, wisdom and compassion. However, knowingly or unknowingly, if we start leeching on the resources they have to offer, they are sure to withdraw themselves & their resources from us at some point in time.

Let's not be a leech. Let's not get leeched either.

"...aaj toh gaya..."

"...aaj toh gaya..."

...was my first thought. ["I am in for some trouble today"].

It was a Saturday morning and, as is the case on most Saturdays, I was on my way to the local market to run some errands. I was in the middle of a crowded lane when I saw something that froze my mind! It was a traffic cop, standing just a few feet away. Now the market is just a few hundred meters away from my home. It is usually just a 60 second bike ride. So there have been times when I skipped wearing the helmet (when I was in a rush). That particular day, I wasn't wearing my helmet either. 

My mind quickly calculated the probability of getting fined by the cop and it was pretty high. "Sir, I stay close by and was in a rush, so I am not wearing my helmet today" I rehearsed, in my mind. But I knew no justification was valid and there was no escape. So, to save myself from the fine and agony, I quickly turned around and started moving in the other direction, glad that I had averted a tragedy by spotting the cop just in time! However, about four steps... yes, "steps" later, it dawned on me that I wasn't on my bike that day! The bike was given to the mechanic the prior evening for some repair work. I had walked down to the market area that day, and obviously, wasn't wearing a helmet. I turned back again, laughing at myself for what I had just put myself through. I passed the cop, confidently looking into his eyes and smiling as I passed by him. 

Once we do something non-compliant/wrong, it creates a fear in a corner of the mind. In the future then, even if we are compliant/right, the mention/sight of a policing/governing authority triggers the fear of getting caught, sending us into disarray, looking for proof of compliance (helmet) - which wasn't probably required in the first place to begin with.

Be compliant. Save your head. Save your mind from your own mind.

"...Abey kitne gulaab jaamun khayega bey! Kaam mein dhyan de, aisa kuch toph kaam bhi nahi hai..."

"...Abey kitne gulaab jaamun khayega bey! Kaam mein dhyan de, aisa kuch toph kaam bhi nahi hai..."

...said a guy at the lunch table. Lets call him Pappu. ["How many sweets will you eat dude! Focus on your work, it's not rocket science"]

My college buddies & I were part of a trainee batch at the Infosys Mysore training center. We made some friends while we were there for 4 months. We gelled with another college group from Mumbai. Pappu was a part of it. At the end of training, we had to pass an exam - Compree (Comprehensive Exam) in order to get a posting. One of the guys didn't clear it. He had to stay back a month to give it another shot. Now this was a gem of a guy. A jolly good fellow, a hard working chap. But sh*t happens and he did not clear the Compree. Lets call him Virat.

So we all got our posting. Many of us, including Pappu got Pune (closest to Mumbai) and we were happy about it. One day at lunch, Pappu said "It is so awesome all of us are going to Pune! We will continue hanging together there too." After some more banter, he added "Virat, too bad you failed. We will miss you. But the Compree wasn't that difficult dude." All of us at the table looked at Pappu with our jaws dropped. Virat wasn't taking the Compree outcome well and Pappu was rubbing salt on his wounds. Virat continued digging into the sambar rice in his plate, without reacting.

A couple of months later, Virat cleared the Compree and got posted to Pune too. But as luck would have it, he got deployed in a project where he got a God-sent manager. He took all the blame for the good work Virat did and made sure to credit him with everything that went wrong. He had stereotyped Virat as he knew he had taken two shots at the Compree. Virat started stress eating. Daily at lunch he'd share his woes and pick up sweets from our plates to satiate the urge of stress eating. On one such occasion, Pappu said what I quoted above.

After a few months, Virat got an offer from another firm. "This firm is not as great as Infy! You are making a big mistake. You won't get good growth there!" said Pappu, when he got to know. Virat joined the other firm. He soon found out that coding/technical work wasn't his calling. He is a magician when it comes to building and maintaining relations. He soon moved into a client management role and progressed rapidly. For the past decade, he has settled abroad, and has been a star performer for the firm he is employed with. We make it a point to catch up every year when he visits Mumbai. On his last visit he asked "Do you remember Pappu?" I am not connected with him, so I said so. "Well, a couple of months back he called me asking if I could refer him to my firm. He is having a hard time there." he added. "Aisa kya toph kaam de rahe hai wahan, tune poocha nahi?" I asked, my tongue firmly lodged in my cheek, as the sound of laughter filled the room, followed by a clink of the glasses.

Pappu ka toh pata nahi, par Virat life mein pass ho gaya.

".....aap hamesha bas itne hi kele bechane nikalte ho...?"

".....aap hamesha bas itne hi kele bechane nikalte ho...?"

...I asked, a bit curiously. ["Do you always try to sell these many bananas daily?"]

I was out on my usual evening walk yesterday and had been instructed to buy some bananas on the way back. "Elaichi, not the normal ones!" were clear instructions. I, like everyone (who doesnt use swiggy) have my favorite sabji and fruit wala bhaiyyas in the market, but my evening walk route is in the other direction. I remembered often spotting an old man selling bananas in one of the lanes and decided to buy the bananas from him. 

So on the last lap, I made a pit stop at the kelawala, who was engaged in an animated conversation with the sabji wala sitting next to him. He was an old gentleman, probably in his 70s (or maybe younger, but that is what I guessed from his appearance). This kelawala always sat on the footpath with just 2 small baskets of bananas. Maybe he had a way of replenishing them, but it seemed he only tried to sell what was on display daily. 

After buying a dozen of elaichi kela, I hesitantly enquired if he only sold those many bananas daily. The question instantly cracked up a smile on the old wrinkled face, exposing the lone incisor holding fort behind the upper lip. "My kids earn enough to run the house. I used to sell fruit all day in earlier days, but now, due to age, I only try to sell some daily in the evening. If I stay home all day, I will annoy the ladies in the house, so I step out to sell them. Besides, I make a little money from this which goes into my savings. It will be useful when hard times come." he said, as he whacked his gamcha (little piece of cloth) at some bees trying to find an exposed banana to feast on.

I had just spent 45 min of my walk worrying about my asset allocation not having adequate equity exposure. This man probably wasnt even aware of the concept of equity, but seemed to have raised a family fairly well with his income and savings. Nearly every family might have elders who have pushed themselves every day in their heydays, saved every penny (be it an earning member or a home maker) and still do. While surviving from month to month, they probably inculcated the habit of saving. Some then perhaps managed to invest those savings (business/real estate/govt schemes or the much chided bank FDs). However, no matter what one invests in: Equity, Crypto, Debt - the core to sustainability & wealth creation is probably "savings''. Without savings, there is no investment to build on.

As I turned to leave, I asked "aapka naam toh batao chacha..." (tell me your name, uncle). All my incisors got exposed this time when I heard  - Raja. Every individual is a king/queen in their own right if they can successfully rule over their urge to splurge and take good care of their faithful subjects - their savings.

"...I am not sure. Shall I take the offer & then decide....?"

"...I am not sure. Shall I take the offer & then decide....?"

...asked the guy at the other end of the call.

He had an interview call. The dilemma was whether or not to take the new assignment if the role and compensation offered were suitable. He wasnt sure if he wanted to move from his current firm. The options he had:

1. Decline the interview & continue with his current employer (till such time something triggered the need for a change or if something really amazing came his way).

2. Appear for a round of interview & then decide.

3. Go through all interviews, take the offer if selected & then decide.

The advantages of 3 above:

1. Use the offer to get a better offer from his current employer (if he feels he is underpaid).

2. Use the offer to negotiate other offers that could come his way.

3. Join the new employer. 

Option 3 is lucrative. However, I feel it is not really the best.

First, I think one should give an interview only if one is fairly sure about the need for a change. Not for "let me see my market worth'', "let me see if I still have it in me'', "𝘥𝘦 𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘩 𝘥𝘦𝘬𝘩𝘵𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘪 [let me see how it goes]" etc - this not only wastes time of the HR, hiring manager & consultants but also plants seeds of confusion in one's own mind.

Second, if one must, then it is better to make a firm decision at the offer negotiation stage. Make sure you are happy with the company, role, management & compensation offered and will join them. If things don't work out & you reject the offer, well & good [𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲]. But if you think "𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘬𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦 [let me take the offer letter then decide]" then that's not the right practice in my opinion. 

Once an offer is accepted formally, the HR stops sourcing for the position. The hiring manager stops worrying about it too & plans work ahead basis the candidate's committed joining date. Now if the candidate decides to not join [𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝗗𝗿𝗼𝗽], not only does it create a lot of rework (restarting the sourcing cycle besides the lost time value) for the other firm, the candidate ends up being possibly blacklisted by the hiring consultant & the company. Yes, there are thousands of companies out there, so possibly one may not care if they are blacklisted, but it is a small world & if it is a small industry, there is a small chance of a candidate encountering the hiring manager or HR down the line. Besides, it is also about integrity and ethics. While seeking an offer break up [and not the offer letter] in the negotiation stage & using it to shop around (after declining the offer) is still a grey area, I think accepting the offer letter and then dropping out later surely isn't very professional.

If one absolutely must, for genuine reasons, then it is best done within a few days of offer acceptance and not on or closer to the date of joining. Value the other firm's time and resources, don't be a _ _ _ _ [the word rhymes with twerk].

"...kabhi kabhi aurat hi aurat ki dushman hoti hai..."

"...kabhi kabhi aurat hi aurat ki dushman hoti hai..."

...the lady said, fuming. ["At times, women are women's worst enemy]

It was around 2010. The firm I was working with was on a huge hiring spree, so they'd often organize walk-in interviews. Although I was never into recruitment, on one such occasion I was told to accompany the gang to a hotel where the walk-ins were scheduled. My job was to facilitate the operations of the drive.

For most part of the day, I was seated a few feet away from one lady (she was a senior manager) from our business side. Her department had won a mandate and she needed to hire 12 people to kick start the operations in the coming month. She and her colleague had come there hoping to close some of those open positions. After about an hour, a lady came in for the interview. She introduced herself and shared that she was staying close by with her husband. After some general questioning, the following happened :

"Any plans of having kids?" 

"Yes ma'm"

"In the near future?"

"Maybe, let's see"

"But it has been 4 years since you were married, surely you and your family might want one now?"

There was a moment of awkward silence. With some visible discomfort and in a low voice, the candidate replied "We have been trying for a long time ma'm, now it all depends on the Almighty"

This was followed up by some more discussion and after the lady walked out, the interviewer dropped her resume in the "Rejected" bucket. "Too much uncertainty around her family plans,'' she told her colleague.

Later in the day, another lady walked in. She sounded experienced and confident. 

"So how will you manage work with 2 little kids?"

"I will manage ma'm. My husband works the night shift. My mother also stays close by, so we will take her help as well."

"Won't you need a full-time nanny or a creche if you start working?"

"That's too expensive, so we will figure out a way once I get a job .''

Her resume also met the same dreaded bucket. "I know how difficult it is to work full time with 2 kids. She will not be able to manage" she declared, as the next candidate was called in. 

After about 15 min, I was a bit hungry. It had nothing to do with the fact that I had spotted beautiful curvy samosas stocked up at a farsan shop near the hotel. Having no intention of offending the samosas, I walked down to the shop, ordered a plate and sat down at one of the tables. That's when I heard a familiar voice say what I quoted above. When I turned to look, it was the same lady (mother of 2), talking on her phone. Pouring out her interview experience to someone at the other end, just as she poured a load of ketchup over the unsuspecting samosa on her plate.

Be it family/friends or interviewers/bosses/colleagues, unfortunately, such biases and stereotyping still linger around.

"...50?? Your dad always took 20 for these jobs! You are too expensive...."

 "...50?? Your dad always took 20 for these jobs! You are too expensive...."

...said the other customer, while I was waiting for my turn.

The left side strip of my right foot sandal had come off. So after a few days of procrastination I finally landed up at a cobbler near my home. The cobbler was a young chap, looked like a guy in his late 30s. Since I had seen the cobbler's little corner often while I passed by it, I had always seen an older man (perhaps in his 50s) working there.

While I was waiting for my turn, I was observing him mending the footwear of another customer who was waiting when I reached. The cobbler was about to finish the job and was pushing the awl needle through the footwear for the last time before cutting the stitching thread. When the customer enquired about the cost of mending, the cobbler quoted fifty bucks. That was when the customer said what I quoted above.

On hearing this, the cobbler gave a wide smile and said "Sir, my father always held his craft in low regards and hence charged very less for decades. Had he asked for a fair price, our family could have faced lesser hardships. Maybe I wouldn't be here today (and could have been better off) if he charged his customers a fair price. I do not want my son to be sitting here doing this job after another 15 years Sir..." The customer just chuckled in response, as he dug into his wallet to fetch 50 bucks.

We often spend thousands without a second thought when we shop for clothes and footwear, but when it comes to spending a fraction of that cost on mending something that is broken, we often start thinking about the price to be paid.

Coming to pay parity, this probably applies to whats happening in some job markets. Many people are now asking for fair compensation and employers feel the price quoted is too high. Barring a few exceptions (where the asking pay is indeed very high due to demand/supply mismatch of quality talent), perhaps the asking pay isn't expensive when compared to what it brings to the table. Perhaps the talent of the past was inexpensive and underpaid and fair pay is getting discovered as market dynamics change. 

Next time you go to that cobbler, tailor, vegetable vendor, plumber, carpenter, evaluate the asking price they quote against the quality of service offered & utility served. Add to it the opportunity costs you would incur if you were to not use their service/offerings.

Also, consider mending that footwear/dress/furniture/gadget before you take the easy way out of replacing it. A good repair job will not only save you a lot of money in the longer run, it will also support small businesses to thrive alongside the larger ones.

The To-Do List Massacre

...and just like that, within minutes, I was able to 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗮𝗹𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝟰𝟬% of the items on my long To-Do List...

The "𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸𝗲𝗻𝗱" list is something I started over a decade back. It started with 3-4 items (and hence the name was 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗧𝗼-𝗗𝗼). Over the years, the number of items started going up, threatening to break into three-digit figures. Some of the "weekend to-do" items added 6-7 years back still linger around on the list.

So this weekend, I put in a focused effort to complete as many as I could - a lot of them were low hanging fruits. But even after all the effort, all I could knock off was just 10% of the items on the long list. 

Yesterday, late evening, I opened the list again. I examined each and every item and started classifying them into 2 buckets. 

𝟭) 𝗘𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹/𝗖𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹/𝗛𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼

𝟮) 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼/𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁

   𝟮𝗮) 𝗔𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝟲 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀

   𝟮𝗯) 𝗢𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝟲 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀

The next step was fun. I started hitting backspace one line after another, deleting all the 𝟮𝗯) items, while all the 𝟮𝗮) items witnessed the "𝘛𝘰-𝘋𝘰 𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘦" in horror, probably fretting at the possibility of getting eliminated too. All the 𝟭)s probably felt relieved, to get some much earned breathing space and importance on the pricey "To-Do" real estate.

By the close of the weekend, while I had closed 10% of the tasks listed, I had simply deleted 30% that fell under 𝟮𝗮). That resulted in an overall reduction of nearly 40% in the list. The next target is to keep chipping away at the remaining 60% - via closure or elimination.

The items that got deleted were unlikely to get done if they werent critical and open for a long time. The experience was quite liberating. They say one should keep one's house/desk/surroundings uncluttered to aid clarity and productivity and help reduce stress levels. The same principle probably applies to our "To-Do" lists. Long ones can be overwhelming and one might just keep procrastinating clearing the items on it due to the sheer number and variety of items listed therein. 

When was the last time you cleaned up your To-Do list (be it around personal tasks or office/work related tasks)? A Monday is probably a good day to give it ( #SafaiAbhiyaan ) a shot. Trust me, it is indeed liberating. 

"...yeh school bhi kya galat jagah pe banaya hai yaar..."

"...yeh school bhi kya galat jagah pe banaya hai yaar..."

...I cribbed to the auto driver. ["...this school has been built at such a wrong place..."]

I stay near a railway line. Often we need to go to the other side of the line for which we need to drive over a very narrow fly over. It leads into a narrow street which is perennially jammed, especially at certain hours. Half way up the street there is a school (which, incidentally, my little one goes to). So when a set of classes are about to start or have just been completed, there is utter chaos with parents, caregivers and drivers lining up (with their vehicles/autos parked near the gate) to pick/drop their kids. 

On that particular day, I was returning from the other side and had to reach home immediately to dail in to an important office call. However, my trip coincided with the end of one of the school batches and the street was full of little blobs sporting green and blue uniforms. Scampering around just like black ants rushing around a crystal of sugar. Cars with parking lights flashing were scattered throughout the street. I knew I would be late for the call and hence I muttered what I quoted above. While I wasn't anticipating a response from the auto driver, he had a view on the matter. "Sir, the school isn't built in a wrong place. It is a very old school and when they built it there was hardly any traffic here. Slowly the residential buildings grew taller and more and more people started buying vehicles which started choking up the street. The school is at the right place" he said, looking back at me from his driver's seat, flashing an innocent yet wise wide grin that revealed two missing incisors in his upper jaw.

Quite often, it is us who are in the wrong place and/or at the wrong time, but unknowingly end up cursing/blaming the surrounding place/people for our woes. Ironically, sitting in that auto at that moment, I was adding to the traffic, probably delaying the school kids from reaching their school/home.

"...he is unbeatable today..."

"...he is unbeatable today..."

...typed one of the cousins. 

The first lockdown was hard for everyone. People took to all kinds of online engagement like playing housie/bingo & poker in the evenings.

It was on one such evening where I was playing online with cousins. The Poker Gods seemed to favor me that evening. I kept getting good cards & even on riskier calls/bets, the lady luck seemed to have my back. After about an hour, I was up 3x. "Looks like I should just play every hand. Given my luck today, even bad cards may end up winners" I thought, as the goal of moving from 3x to 4x was dancing in my mind. 

Eventually, I started playing loose. Started making a lot of hero calls, riskier bets. I knew it was my day, so if I continue taking risks I will end up higher. One of the cousins playing with us is a very good player. He saw my pattern of play & started trapping me by feigning poor hands. In no time, my stack went from 3x to 2x. The target of 4x was mocking at me. I had to take a few more risks to move to 4x. Eventually, in the next 30 min I ended up going below my buy-in due to the risky plays. 2x became 0.5x. I was now at a loss with half a buy-in lost. The cousin was now up significantly & ended the evening with the highest stack while I ended up with a loss. 

The cousin said something to me later. He said "Remember one thing. Take risks when your stack is small, but once you are ahead, cut down on the risks. Preserve your stack & work towards increasing it with minimal risks, otherwise you will always risk throwing away what you have built."

This advice hit deep & stayed with me. I could connect it to so many aspects of life. Be it habits, passion, wealth creation, recreational activities, sports or any other aspect of life. Moving from level 1 to level 3 is great. But when we get too greedy & try to move from 3 to 4, 5, 6 & beyond by taking too many unconventional risks, we risk losing what we have achieved till that point. A 3 can easily go back to 2, 1 or even 0. Moving from 2 to 4 is seen as 100% profit, whereas moving from 4 to 2 is seen as only 50% loss, whereas the fact is that we lost 100% of what we had gained from the starting point. 

The reason I penned this down is that about a month back I heard about the passing of a person in my locality. He drove a high end car, had a bigh house. Seemed financially well set, but often worked for 14-15 hours a day. Could be very passionate about his work or perhaps wanted to accumulate more for his retirement/family. However, his passion/goals perhapsgot the better of his wellbeing. The untimely event brought it all down to zero.

So often we run behind things, taking unnecessary risks, while risking our physical, mental & financial health. Take a pause & think if the risk is needed. And if it is, at what cost? What are we ready to put at stake to take the stack to the next level? Should we take calculated risks on AA or reckless risks on 72 (considered as the weakest hand in poker)?

"...but why is half glass costing Rs.5 and a full Rs. 7 ? Shouldn't the full be Rs.10...?"

"...but why is half glass costing Rs.5 and a full Rs. 7 ? Shouldn't the full be Rs.10...?"

I asked mom, while eagerly waiting for my treat to arrive. It was the late 1980s or early 90s.

Mom used to visit the vegetable market nearly 3 to 4 times a week. She was always open to taking me along. The incentive for me - once she was done buying veggies, we'd walk into a big sugarcane juice center for a glass of iced juice. It was always fascinating to watch the sugarcane get crushed between those huge drums and, just when you thought there was no juice possibly left, the guy would fold the cane sticks and pass it again to squeeze some more juice out - all this while you could hear the sound made by the ghungroo tied to the gears/wheels of the machine. Masala dabbis were kept on each table. One could make the juice tastier by sprinkling some masala over it. The price for half a glass was Rs.5 & the full was Rs.7.

For the first time when I saw the rate board I got confused. The teachers at school had clearly explained what half & double meant. Double of 5 is 10, half of 7 is 3.5! So I asked mom about it. "If you look carefully, the half glass is not really half full. It is almost like 3/4th. Hence the rate of half glass is a little more than half of the rate of a full glass" she said, giving me an "aha!" moment.

Cut to a few years later, I started taking a liking to Manchow soup. For every dining outing, I'd order it. The unsaid rule is that you always share soups. "One by two please" is what you tell the waiter. Not sure if you have ever noticed, but the total quantity of a one-by-two is always greater than 1 bowl. The chef doesn't divide the soup after pouring it all in one bowl. He will just pour it separately in two bowls - filling about half (which is always more than half) of each. Once I figured this, I decided to always order a one-by-two even if I was ordering it for one person, coz two halves were more than one full. Most restaurants don't  serve half, so you can only order a full bowl. Ordering a one-by-two then is always more beneficial from the economic point of view.

This probably also applies to many facets of life. Often we chase 100% or full potential of something and look down upon partial achievements. While there is nothing wrong with chasing a full 100%, a perceived (or labelled) half is often more than half. We all often use the term half (eg: that is just half the job done, this one is only half as good) so often to refer to partial things/work/achievements when the fact could be that it is actually significantly more than half. Maybe 60-70% or even 90%. When we combine such perceived halves, we will often land up with more like a "one and a half" and not one.

A few years later, when I visited the same juice shop, the prices had been revised. The rate board had a couple of more line items.

Half:  Rs. 7

Half without Ice: Rs. 8

Full: Rs. 10

Full without Ice: Rs. 11

" ...you are probably getting bored for the last couple of hours..."

" ...you are probably getting bored for the last couple of hours..." 

...commented a friend (who had just started to learn the game) recently when we met for a game of poker. It was one of those days where the card Gods were testing my patience. He had seen me make a lot of boring folds.

"Either I have to get used to getting bored or I need to be filthy rich..." I told him. Before confusing him further, I added "If I were to start playing fancy, making exciting calls at the table here, I would probably get a lot of thrills in bouts due to some big wins and big losses (variance as it is called in poker), but when we leave the table in a few hours, my pockets would probably be lighter. So the question is, at the end of this session, do I want to leave the table disappointed that I did not put in my best effort? Or at peace knowing that I played to the best of my skill/knowledge/ability irrespective of the outcome?" 

Following a set process can still lead to losses/set backs, be it games, trading, investing or life in general, but we gotta make the right decisions as per the process, which often is a boring experience. The need for excitement is probably a trap that we all fall for far too often. No doubt that at times we should look for exciting opportunities/excitement in life, but a large part of life that needs to be done right is boring. Be it that morning routine, the daily chores we may consider mundane or that boring investment ride through the violent market moves while we sit and do nothing. Boring activities often bring us stability, peace of mind, health and wealth if we master the art of getting bored.

At the cost of repetition, this again reminds me of the line from the show called "The Crown" where Queen Mary tells Queen Elizabeth “To do nothing is the hardest job of all. And it will take every ounce of energy that you have."

Wish you a boring...err an exciting weekend ahead!

"...throw the ball..."

"...throw the ball..."

"...ball feko..."

"...ball taaka..."

"...ball aapo..."

...cried the little boy, all of the above (in English, Hindi, Marathi & Gujarati respectively) meaning the same thing - Throw the ball back!

It was somewhere in the mid 90s and I was about 12-13. My elder sisters, who were always entrepreneurial had set up a 2-day dress materials exhibition near our home. My cousin & I were just loitering around the gate of the premises when we saw a red rubber cricket ball go past us towards our right side. Almost instantly, we heard the cry from our left. The little guy (looked like around 5 years old) was peeping from outside the gate and continuously repeating the same lines without stopping even for a second.

There was something odd about this kid. He looked different. He talked differently. My mind fetched a word for the kid's condition and the word started with R. A term, which as kids we used loosely to describe the condition (unfortunately no one corrected us for a long time as it is considered a derogatory word) till I learned about the medical term for it. The little boy was suffering from Down's Syndrome. 

In no time, his dad showed up at the gate too, just as one of the elders around picked the ball and went to the gate to hand it over to them. "How come the little champ speaks four languages at such a small age?" enquired the uncle, as he handed the ball over. "My family speaks Marathi at home, my wife is Gujarati. We have a Catholic neighbor and our house help speaks Hindi. Everyone talks to him in their preferred language and slowly he started picking up all the languages. So now he can converse a bit in all the four languages,'' said the dad, with a wide smile. 

I have seen many children affected by Down's Syndrome since then, but I always remember this little dude every time I see someone with the condition. I remember how, in spite of the challenges he faced, he had the ability to do something that many people cannot do without a formal education - the ability to speak in four languages at that young an age.

The picture attached to this post is from a movie that I recently saw. The movie is called "The Peanut Butter Falcon" (2019). It is a heart warming tale about a man (called Zak) with Down Syndrome, who runs away from a residential nursing home to pursue his dream of becoming a wrestler. The special thing about the movie is that Zak is played by Zack Gottsagen, who has Down's Syndrome in real life. The film is authentic to things in his life experience, something we don't see in the media often enough. There is clearly a lot more that needs to be done to get individuals with Down's Syndrome accepted in all walks of work and life. Hopefully, the ever growing awareness around #DiversityAndInclusion these days will pave new paths for these special folks as well.

Hats off to the parents, families & caregivers of individuals with Down's Syndrome. It takes angels around to ensure we don't let these little angels down.

Btw, March 21 each year is observed as World Down Syndrome Day.

"...What about Chacha Choudhary...?"

"...What about Chacha Choudhary...?" 

...asked V, who has seen most of the Chacha Choudhary cartoons on Youtube last year.

I have been trying to get my 7 yo daughter, V, to develop the habit of reading for a while now, but in vain. A few days back, the school introduced them to the library and she developed an interest after reading some pages there. I figured she is now receptive to books, so I tried finding some online/whatsapp based libraries but nothing worked out. 

After some thought, I decided to check on something which I was fairly sure did not exist. But there was no harm in trying. About 30 years back, my mom (or was it the sisters, can't recall) had introduced me to a library near our home. It was situated in a community centre which offers a lot of facilities for the community. I decided to check if the library is still there. So after V came home from school yesterday evening, I took her along to check. To my delight, the library was very much there, pretty much in the same shape. I could see the shelves I saw 30 years back and I felt as if I was smelling the books I smelled back then. 

V & I rushed to the enrollment counter. "Sir, please join from August 1st" said the kind lady. I felt a bit sad, but she was quick to add "The fees are monthly and even if you enroll today, you have to pay the entire July fees. There are hardly 10 days left,'' she said, empathetically. "Oh, ok. But what are the fees?" I enquired. "Rs. 50 a month plus some deposits. In all, it will be Rs. 300+ a quarter" she said, earnestly. On hearing that, I started grinning like a maniac. 50 bucks a month! To access to such a treasure trove for my child! "I don't mind the fees, please enroll us from today" I said, all excited, as if someone had asked a kid if they wanted to have their favorite ice cream for dinner daily. 

We finished the enrollment and rushed back to the book shelves. "What do you want to take today?" I asked V. She wanted to read Chacha Choudhary but unfortunately those weren't available at the moment. "I read a bit of Famous Five and Secret Seven at the school library and liked it. But, some of my friends are reading Harry Potter, so do they have those here?" asked the little round face with the eyebrows pointing towards the sky. After a long hunt, we failed to find it. I asked the librarian and she promptly pointed us to where the book was. So with The Philosopher's Stone in tow, we left the library, discussing how books are more magical than the movies that are based on them...

The episode reminded me of a quote by Neil Gaiman - "Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."

When did you last (encourage your child to) read a book? Perhaps today might be a good day to start reading about how to slay that dragon you've been worried about!

"...Tiger Point is even more foggier, you will love it..."

"...Tiger Point is even more foggier, you will love it..."

...i told my 7 yo daughter, V. 

For a while now, I have been plotting to take V to Tiger Point at Lonavla (the hill station near Mumbai). I love going there to experience the chilly & dense fog. Its like walking in the clouds. I kept building up a narrative around it. Finally, last Saturday, we left for it. 100+ kms & 3 hrs, said google maps. Good things don't come easy anyways, I thought.

V loves Maggie. I told her what an awesome experience it is to enjoy a bowl of Maggie & corn bhajji along with slices of raw mango (topped up with salt & chilli powder) at the chilly foggy point. En route on the expressway, we came across a few patches of dense fog. "Look at the beautiful fog V! But Tiger point is even better! The fog is more dense there!" I kept telling her each time we passed through a foggy patch.

Finally, we reached Lonavla, but we encountered an unusual 20 min congestion on the way to Tiger Point. Probably the weekend traffic, I told my self, hoping against hope. Finally, we reached the point where cops were refusing entry to the road ahead. Apparently, the water levels were rising & hence the road ahead was out of bounds. "But we travelled over a hundred kms for this!" I protested, in vain. 

The little Missy was upset, and quite obviously. I had built it up a bit too much. I had to initiate damage control, so I tried navigating to another place I had heard about. "Pawna lake is a beautiful place, might be foggy too, lets go there" I said. It was an hour away. I began driving towards it but soon realised I was going too far without being sure of what the place had to offer. So I moved to Plan C. Another spot (Tungarli Lake) was just 15 min away. "This one is close by & I have heard a lot about it too. I am sure it will be great!" I announced. But, we had to turn back 600 meters from the place due to another traffic chaos involving a narrow steep incline coupled with a heavy downpour. There was no plan D. We decided to just drive down to the main market for a quick bite. After savoring some Maggie & vada pav in the market, we left for home. 

"You know what! There is another nice foggy patch on the way to the expressway. Though not as good as Tiger point." I told V. We reached the spot. It was quite foggy, but not as good as Tiger Point. Then it hit me. I had been unknowingly ruining the moment. "This! This is exactly what Tiger Point feels like!! You see how dense the fog is?" I said, knowing in my heart it was a lie for the greater good. "Yes, it is so pretty!" Pat came the reply. We stepped out & took a couple of snaps. I bought some corn bhajji & raw mango before leaving for home.

Sometimes we create a trap of heightened expectations, thereby running a risk of ruining the actual experience that is waiting eagerly for us. 

Circumstances 1, Papa 0. But I am determined to even the score out before the monsoon ends.

"...dedication ho toh iske jaisa..."

"...dedication ho to iske jaisa..."

...said the leader, putting both his hands on the guy's shoulders. ["One should be as dedicated as him"] Let's call this guy Ahmed & the leader....erm, Gabbar.

It was a Monday. Gabbar had called for a meeting. He was one of those kinds who loved a big cabin with a lot of white boards. For every small thing, a meeting was called. Everyone had to sit & brainstorm about something or other. Gabbar would take notes on the 4 white boards and, at the end of it, take snaps of the art using his phone.  

He started the meeting by talking about how a situation had come up over the weekend in which he & Ahmed spent the Sunday in the office. "I needed one of you to come. I called up Ahmed coz I know he is very helpful & I could bank on him." he said, adding what I quoted above. Ahmed was a nice guy. Very humble, very helpful. The go-to person for everyone.

We had a five-day work week, but Gabbar loved going to the office every Saturday too. Ahmed started visiting the office every Saturday for a few hours as well. This, after working till 9-9.30 pm often.

One Friday morning, Ahmed walked into the office dressed up nicely. A brand new classy blue shirt & his favourite jeans. "Birthday hai kya?" asked one of the friends. "Nahi re, it's my parents' wedding anniversary. I am treating them today. First time since I started earning." he said, with his wide & humble smile.

Gabbar called us for a meeting at 6 pm. The clock touched 6.30 and we signalled Ahmed to leave. Ahmed behaved as if we did not exist in the room. Around 7.15, one guy gathered courage & said out loud "Arre Ahmed, you had to leave early for your parents' anniversary dinner right?" Ahmed just smiled. "Wish them on my behalf too Ahmed" said Gabbar with a wide grin. "But on Fridays all the restaurants are packed. I suggest you take them out for a lavish lunch tomorrow at a nice place, instead. Or do you need to leave now?" asked Gabbar, looking at one of the white boards. "No Sir, I'll wait,'' replied Ahmed, still smiling. The meeting continued for another 40 odd minutes. 

One day, Ahmed did not turn up at work. One became three. We then found out that Ahmed had been diagnosed with very high blood pressure along with some other heart related ailments. Stress was blamed for his condition. Ahmed did not report to work for another week. "Ahmed is a strong guy, he will be back with a bang soon,'' said Gabbar in one of the meetings. Ahmed resigned 4 days later, requesting to be relieved immediately. He took a 3 month break to recover from his ill health. After 3 more months, he was able to land a new job.

Last week I bumped into Ahmed (and that's why this incident came to my mind). "How's work & life?" I asked. "Dono ekdum mast" ["both are good"] he replied, flashing the same humble yet wide smile, just as a little girl came running from behind, holding a stick loaded with vibrant pink cotton candy, staring cautiously at the stranger that was talking to her dad...

Alt text

𝗔𝗹𝘁 𝗧𝗲𝘅𝘁. The provision that needs more awareness and use. 

Also referred to as an alt description or an alt attribute, alt text is critical for those with disabilities because it describes the function and appearance of a photo or graphic they cannot see. For the last couple of years, I have been trying to add alt texts to all the images I share with my posts on #LinkedIn. I am aware some of my connections use screen reader software and I need to write better alt texts to be more #inclusive. While I have so far only used it on #LinkedIn , yesterday I realized I need to start using it on all platforms and pages that I publish on. 

Yesterday #NASA posted a beautiful image of galaxies never seen before. While looking at it on #Twitter, I wondered what they had added in the Alt text for the image. On reading the alt text I realised how beautifully they have described the image and, as a result, I went about checking the alt text of all their images shared yesterday. Great work by the #NASA communications team in ensuring these spectacles are savoured by those who have visual disabilities. 

Infact, #Leena Nair, CEO of CHANEL always goes a step ahead and adds her alt texts in the post body just at the end.

Do you use Alt Text while sharing images on social media? If not, today is a good day to start being more #Inclusive .

[While I am able to add alt text to all social media pages, am yet to figure how to add it to this blog.]

"...time hi nahi mila..."

"...time hi nahi mila..."

Simran : Did you do book your routine medical check-up?

Raj : Nahi yaar, time hi nahi mila...

Simran : Did you research about that health/life insurance policy you need to buy?

Raj : Kahaan yaar, itna time kiske paas hai...

Simran : What about that course to upskill?

Raj : Course wourse ke liye time nahi hai...

Simran : What about visiting the bank to foreclose that loan?

Raj : Maybe next month, abhi ye sab ke liye time nahi hai...

Simran : Did you take the kid's watch to the repair shop?

Raj : Let's just order a new one online, market jaane ka time nahi hai...

Simran : What about joining that gym you've been talking about?

Raj : Kaam itna hai aajkal, gym jaane ka time kiske pass hai?

Simran : How many books did you read in 2022?

Raj : Office aur ghar ke kaam se fursat mile tab na...

Simran : Car servicing was due last month, send it this weekend!

Raj : Ye weekend bilkul time nahi hai...

Simran : Last day to pay school fees is tomorrow!

Raj : Okay, kal I will pay, aaj time nahi hai...

Simran : Did you call your brother to wish him for his birthday?

Raj : Subah se time hi nahi mila aaj...

Simran : Were you able to crack the Wordle today? I get to learn so many new words by playing it daily!

Raj : Haven't played it for past 3 days, time hi nahi mila...

Simran : Did you read that story posted by Jimish yesterday?

Raj : That dude writes very lengthy stories, itne lambe posts padhne ka mere pass time nahi hai...

Simran : Btw, the latest season of Game Of Thrones dropped. Lets watch an episode daily?

Raj : It was mind blowing! I binged the whole season yesterday night 🤟

For those not well versed with Hindi, all of Raj's responses indicate he does not get the time to complete those tasks. Perhaps we all have given such a response atleast once in the recent past. Was it really about lack of time? Maybe we could have done that task had we prioritized it over other trivial tasks (like infinitely scrolling on social media for example). I guess it almost always is about prioritization and not time.

Social media addiction often makes us lose sight of our productivity & goals. Monitoring screen (& apps) time is definitely a good start to realize the extent of the rot. Enable and start tracking it right away if you don't. 

"Time nahi mila" is the biggest & most frequent lie we so often tell ourselves (& others) without realizing it. I wanted to write about this since the last 14 days, but till this moment, time hi nahi mila....

"...this tailor dude charges so much! Pakka he must have built a nice bungalow in his village..."

"...this tailor dude charges so much! Pakka he must have built a nice bungalow in his village..." 

...I told my wife, as I was leaving yesterday evening to visit him. This tailor sits in a small lane with his sewing machine. Lets call him Prabhu.

Prabhu is very talented. He has been operating from the same location for the last 30+ years. He looked 25 then, he looks 30 now, if you discount the salt and pepper look he sports. The guy is very jolly and always smiling. I have been visiting him since I was 10. First, with my elder sisters whenever they had to get some alterations done and then for the wife's requirements over the last decade. Yesterday, it was to get my daughter's jeans altered. 

Prabhu asked me to wait for 10 min. Having nothing to do, I realized how little I knew about this bloke I have been meeting for over 30 years. So I decided to strike up a conversation. 

"Bhai, you always work till late daily. Don't think you leave before 11 pm any day! Doesnt your wife get annoyed?" I enquired, cheekily. "Sir, my wife passed away a few years back" he looked up at me with a sad smile and continued to push the piece of cloth under the rattling needle. I felt my foot in my mouth and went speechless for the next few seconds, not knowing what to say next. 

After a pause, I tried asking a neutral question. "Do you stay alone here then?" "I have a daughter. My mother looks after her. I come to work around noon, so I see her in the mornings. By the time I am home, she is in bed." he said, as he picked up a brown thread and passed it through the needle hole effortlessly in the first attempt like a magician. "That's nice, I have a daughter too,'' I said. "By the way, I have never seen you missing from work except for Mondays (the weekly off here). Don't you take a break to go out with your daughter and mom on some trips?" I asked. "I am burdened with a huge debt sir. Providing for my daughter's education and my mom's medical needs is all I can think of,'' he said, as I shifted my gaze towards the box of colorful threads, with my other foot squarely in my mouth as well now. In the background, I continued to hear the sewing machine needle at work. Piercing the jeans on the sewing board and piercing the presumptuous thoughts in my mind with equal intensity.

- There are people who are always positive and smiling and there are people who are always grumpy and negative. Perhaps both kinds may be fighting their personal battles, but the former are very good at maintaining a happy facade - a great capability.

- Asking questions for the heck of starting a conversation isn't always a great idea. Questions like "Aren't you married?" "Dont you have kids?" can be so inappropriate besides the ones I asked.

- It takes such experiences for us to realize that sometimes we aren't grateful enough for what we have. #Gratitude.

"He doesn't have a bungalow in the village, I was wrong..." I told the wife after reaching home...

"..Guys, I am f%#@&.."

"...guys, I am *&?%₹#... I am unable to withdraw my money..." 

... posted a guy in one of my WhatsApp groups earlier today.

If you are on Instagram, you will see influencers ( atleast the moral ones ) use these #Hashtags - #ad #collab #paidpartnership whenever they promote or collaborate - basically making money from the promotion. It is a very transparent way of doing business. Your followers know you are paid to promote the product/service. 

Cut to LinkedIn/Facebook. You will see a lot of influencers posting epic shit and opening their wisdom hatches about how to make money via stocks & cryptos and how investing in FDs is a cardinal sin ( which our fathers and forefathers committed ). Yet, they will never once disclose that they are promoting something they are paid to promote. "10 apps I use the most" they will post and sneak in the 1 app that has paid them to make that post. "7 ways to make 15% per annum with ease" they will say, while a lot of their own money is locked away in fixed deposits and liquid funds.

- Be careful about who you follow 

- Be careful about what you believe about the content the folks you follow publish

- Be careful about the fake empathy/sympathy posts they will make over the next few months as things start cracking.

The job of an influencer is to influence, so you can't blame them. How much do we get influenced is a reflection of our gullibility. 

"....kya be chakke..."

"...kya bey chakke..." 

...screamed Johnny Lever, about 12-13 times in the entire movie, leaving the audience in the theatre in splits each time.

It was 2001 and the movie was Nayak. Johnny Lever, being the great that he is, ensured laughs came through in the otherwise heavy movie. His character was scripted to yell out "Kya bey chakke" as a reflex action each time someone poked a finger at him. For those who do not know the Hindi term, it is loosely used to refer to the members of the transgender community.

Back then, the term "chakka" was often used in a derogatory way, often used to mock/insult someone. While we all laughed our hearts out each time Johnny Lever screamed that line, over 20 years later, I realized how inappropriate it was – to consider it funny, to accept the usage of the word ( as an insult or otherwise ), to be insensitive towards the non-binary gender.

I recalled this movie and Johnny Lever's character while listening to Kalki Subramaniam a while back, during the webinar hosted by my employer as part of the #PRIDE month initiatives. Kalki is a transgender rights activist, among other things. While she had a lot of things to share, here are a few: 

- at the age of 12-13 there was intense trauma between my authentic self and my physical self

- was born as a boy & came out at 13 and the family could not understand

- told mom I wanted to grow up as a woman & eventually the family accepted

- family acceptance was of most important

- Most trans people are begging because they have been abandoned by their family

- some land up in sex work due to exploitation

- faced a lot of bullying and shaming throughout, especially in college. 

- In the Mahabharata, Arjun was a trans for 1 year -taught martial arts and dance to a prince

- the presence of trans members in Mahabaratha/Ramayana and other mythology shows we were always a part of the society

- joined an IT firm and saved money for my gender transition.

- I feel I was privileged as I was accepted by family and was independent

- we have a lot of anger built up but I channeled the anger I had within into art/creativity – to make a change, you need to be the change

- role model is Sridevi

- love writing poetry

- corporates need to ensure they develop a safe environment for trans coworkers

- treat us as fellow-human, fellow-employee and not a transgender

- people still comment about my voice, not realizing I like the way I sound

- people say I don’t look like a transgender and look like a real woman – it is stereotyping and not a compliment

My takeaway - If they are not unkind to you, there is no reason to be unkind to them or dislike them. They deserve to be treated as you would like to be treated by others!

"...there is no green tea in the pantry..."

"...there is no green tea in the pantry..." 

...declared one of the leaders. I was very surprised. Such small things were never an issue because we always had adequate running stock of all office and pantry items.

But here is the other side of the story - the supply side story.

"...we are unable to send people to all our sites due to a surge in active machines. We also are not getting supplies on time." says the coffee vending machine vendor.

"...we are replacing your relationship manager that replaced the prior relationship manager replacing the one before that...sorry, too much attrition and hence the drop in response time and service levels..." says the account manager of our mobile telephony partner.

"...we are finding it difficult to replace the resigned staff and our systems are undergoing a change. Cards will be delayed..." says the corporate credit card RM.

"...many drivers never came back post the pandemic. The waiting time for new cars is too high, so we do not have enough cars or drivers to serve you seamlessly...also - we need that hefty hike we've been requesting as fuel is expensive and drivers are now demanding more money.." says the cab agency.

"...we are short staffed for the sudden surge in travel demand, please bear with delays..." says the air travel partner. I am sure everyone is aware of the long VISA delays (due to a spike in demand) as announced by VFS.

"...we are struggling with staff and stock availability..." says the vendor of a snack vending machine.

"...Sir, I am personally delivering orders now as my labour keeps running away.." says the stationary vendor.

Due to the gradual return to the office this year, there is a surge in demand for everything and the supply side is struggling to cater to the demand - be it the smallest bread/butter vendor or be it the high-flying travel/credit card partner. Everyone is struggling with the double whammy of manpower/labour shortage and a rise in input costs. Outcome - Organizations are having to shell out more for services that aren't yet up to par with pre-pandemic times.

Hats off to all the facility management & admin staff across all offices everywhere. At first, they were entrusted with keeping the offices safe during the raging covid waves and now are hustling and juggling multiple vendors to try and keep their colleagues insulated from these supply side pangs as much as possible. All of this with a smile on their face.

By the way, how many of us know April 21st is celebrated as Administrative Professionals' Day? I did not. 

Cheers to all the admin/facility management folks out there. Keep rocking!

"...thanks babes..."

 "...thanks babes..."

...replied a mommy to my message.

Since my daughter started schooling, I took up more responsibility for her studies & school. Not because the wife doesn't want to - she is equally invested. It is mainly because I am more keen on it. Getting homework done & submitted is one of my self-set weekly KRAs.

My daughter was 5 in 2020, so our Sr Kg & 1st were online. It was a boon for me. I was more involved because:

1. I am a bit of an obsessed techie so I ensured we had the device, backup device, wifi & backup wifi always ready.

2. The wife had to go to work for the most part of the pandemic, whereas #MarshIndia being the colleague friendly firm it is, had remote working till about a few months back. Now we work hybrid (office few days a week).

The parents formed whatsapp groups. One was a dads group (all divisions) & then each division had a moms group. All the talk in mom's group was only about the class related updates & rightly so. At the risk of getting kicked out of the daddies group - it is largely a quiet group, only used for forwards once every few days. So I asked my wife to get me added to the mom's group. It saved my wife from acting like a postman, relaying messages from the group to me daily. 

I was amazed by the way the mommies were managing it. Timely & accurate information sharing, assistance offered to each other & the discipline was superb. However, often some queries would start with "Hi gals/mommies/ladies" which obviously was a bit awkward for me, though I understood they may not be aware there is a dad in the group. There were times when there were queries starting with "Hi girls" & I had the answer to it, but I held back because I felt out of place & felt the others might freak out to see a "man" talking in mommies group.

However, I soon put that behind me & started participating. Once, a mom asked a query which I addressed. She replied "Thanks Babes". I started grinning, unsure of how to respond to it. I typed "Hi, this is a dad here" but ended up deleting it and ended up saying "You are welcome".

On this Father's day, I request all mothers to be more inclusive. There will be some dads in your mommies school group because the dad has their child's best interest at heart or because of some other personal challenges. You will see many fathers dropping or picking the child. Please do not judge the father or the mother. While nothing can replace moms ( can't compete with Gods), some of us fathers try to enter territories that still seem like "mom territory" in the interest of the kid's wellbeing or to help the wife. After all, parenting is 50-50 responsibilities, but besides giving birth and nursing the child (which so far, id biologically not possible), we dads can try and help with everything else.

Happy Father's day to all the wonderful dads out there who don't look at parenting as a task, but an honour.

Yours sincerely,

Not a babe, but a father to one.

"....stop exaggerating dude...."

"....stop exaggerating dude...."

...I told my friend, but in my mind and not out loud. This was somewhere in 2012. Lets call him Rahul 🏏

Rahul and I were discussing about the cars we drove. No discussion about cars can go without talking about the mileage they offer, at least in the middle class talk. So Rahul told me he gets 12-13 kmpl in the city (Mumbai) and 19-20 kmpl on highways. We both had similar petrol variant cars. I had been driving for few years and usually got 8 to max 9.5 in the city and 15-16 tops on highways, so I was sure he was exaggerating. 

A few months down the line, I happened to accompany him on an outstation trip where he was driving. To my surprise, I saw he was right. He clocked 18.8 kmpl for the 150+ km drive. However, having experienced his driving, I figured what he was doing right and what I was miserable at.

- At the signals within the city, I always love to get a good pick up and push the accelerator harder than required to gain maximum throttle. Rahul is fine to pick up slowly and increase the speed at a slower/optimal acceleration - this impacts fuel efficiency.

- I always love to drive fast and hence I am always pushing the accelerator even when I know I'd have to use the brakes in the traffic/red light ahead. This not only affects fuel efficiency but also wears the brake pads out sooner.

- Due to his smooth driving, the passengers in his car were always comfortable. Whereas passengers in my car often go through an unsolicited roller coaster ride. This wears out the suspension and other car parts sooner, besides causing discomfort to my co-passengers.

Not only does Rahul save money on fuel, but he delays the expenses on brake pads and other car parts and ensures comfort for his co-passengers.

The same principles probably apply to other aspects of our life. Be it careers, ventures or relationships. Speed up too much too soon and eventually you will not only end up burning more fuel/energy but also wear out your mind/body at a faster pace. The quantum of braking required is directly proportional to the speed at which it is applied. So, start at an optimum speed and maintain a cruising speed and you benefit immensely. Though you might take some more time to reach your destination, you will be amazed to see that at times the guy speeding would reach just moments before you do, or at times, at the same time as you.

Finally, I started using the cruise control feature available in my car for all the long drives to curb the acceleration itch. Been trying since then to build the feature in my life next...

"...are you done with your victory lap 🙄...?"

"...are you done with your victory lap 🙄...?"

...I asked V, my daughter, who was 5 years old back then in May 2020.

[UNO Chronicles part 3/4. Originally published in May 2020.]

 ...so it seems I will never get any better at Uno 🤦‍♂️ The scoreboard says it all! But I observed something interesting. Every time V won a game, she updated the scoreboard and did a victory lap around the house showing everyone that she had won a game. So that's 17+ Victory laps so far!

However, after I took this snap of the scoreboard, I went on a hot streak and won 3 games in a row! She seemed upset with that, so I pulled out the "enjoy the game and not just the wins" message as usual. Thereafter, she did something very interesting! Every time she updated my win, she did another round to show the score to everyone in the house. Not with the same wide grin, but nevertheless, she went around telling everyone "Papa won this one but I am still ahead"

Learnings:

- Celebrate every win. However big or small.

- Take a note of your opponents' victories. However, also be aware that you have lost just this round but are (or will be) ahead in the overall game with enough time, skills, efforts and some luck.

I guess the law of diminishing marginal utility doesn't always work. The 17+ victory laps V carried out were all equally euphoric. I am now looking for a professional UNO coach who can coach me on how to beat my daughter consistently at UNO.

"...take that.... and that.... and this...."

"...take that.... and that.... and this...."

...declared V, my daughter, who was 5 years old back then, as she mercilessly fired her entire arsenal of Draw 4s/2s at me.

[UNO Chronicles part 2/4. Originally published by me on May 3, 2020.]

The wife, V & I were engrossed in a competitive game of UNO. Miraculously, I had a good run and had one last card left in my hand. "UNO!" I yelled, as per the rules (for those who don't know the game, one has to shout UNO when they only have the last card left in their hand. Failing to do so yields a penalty).

V gave me a determined look from the corner of her tiny eyes. Over the next few rounds, she dropped a series of Draw 4s and Draw 2s on me to ensure I wouldn't dare to utter "UNO" anytime soon again. All of a sudden, the number of cards in my hand went up from one to a dozen.

Soon thereafter, she got rid of all her cards and won. So now it was just her mom & I fighting it out. The next thing she does - comes next to me and cuddles up. "Let me help you beat Mom!" The determined eyes had given way to lovey dovey sparkling eyes all of a sudden. "What's the point now? When I was about to win, you bombed me!" I protested. "But that was because I was in the game and I had to do it to win. I gave you so many cards, so now I'll help you get rid of those and win!" She said, matter of factly and just grabbed my cards. 

Learnings:

 - When you gotta be professional, you gotta be professional, but it is very important to switch your hats once the task/goal is accomplished.

- Don't always judge your opponent/peer based on their actions while in the game (or at work). Look at the hat they are donning at the time and judge (if at all you must) the hat and not the individual wearing it. They are probably doing what they ought to.

This drill has been repeating for the last 2 years and I love it when she wins while I am still in the game. It gives her joy to help me next and I am always overjoyed to experience the warm gesture. Erm, once a quarter she helps her mom too in the interest of Diversity & Inclusion.

No offence to the sons, but daughters are clearly the best.

"...s**t, I sent a message to my manager instead of you 😱😱😱 ..."

"...s**t, I sent a message to my manager instead of you 😱😱😱 ..."

...I messaged my wife.

I was working for a firm, let's call it Saaz. It was a great firm, but after having spent many years there, I thought I needed to explore more. I got an interview call from a firm, let's call it Guru. 

Now I had never lied to avail leaves, but I needed to take an off for the interview & couldn't tell my manager about it. So I made an excuse & took the day off. However, the fact that I had lied about a leave was weighing heavy on me as I had a great manager & skip level manager. Lets call them Asha & Lata respectively. So while I was waiting for my interview, I texted my wife - "I feel so bad for lying to Asha". It took me a tenth of a second thereafter to realize that I had erroneously texted Asha & there was no way of recalling it. I immediately followed it up with another text - "Please ignore the last message. I will explain tomorrow". I gave the interview & got an offer by evening.

I went to the office the next day & met Asha first, followed by Lata. Both of them at first looked disappointed. It was natural. No one likes to lose a team member. Both the ladies tried to retain me. However, I had made up my mind & they graciously accepted it. Lata was a well connected lady. She offered to help me do some checks on my future employer & my role there. She made a few phone calls & gave me a lot of insights into the kind of firm I was getting into. She did not dissuade me from joining them, but she laid out all the cards for me. Eventually, I joined Guru. 

A few years later, I realised I needed to make a move again. At one point, I landed offers from 2 firms (lets call them Mangal & Shani) in the same sector - Mangal was an MNC and Shani, a trusted Indian brand. I rang up both Asha & Lata for some guidance & we spent a lot of time talking about it. Lata once again offered to do some digging and she called me back after 2 days to share the pros & cons of both the firms. "Knowing you well, I feel you will thrive at Mangal" she said, when she sensed my dilemma. I joined Mangal. To this day, I contact Asha & Lata whenever I am in any career related dilemma & they are always happy to advise me.

Ironically, while I was serving notice at Guru, I found out that Lata had accepted a position in one of the group companies. I was tempted to drop the Mangal offer to get a chance to work with her again, but I remembered my mom always says "whatever happens, happens for good" and so I joined Mangal, never to regret it.

Managers & skip managers can literally make or break careers. While they have a huge impact on you while you work with them, the good ones will go at no length to guide & mentor you even after they are no longer your managers/leaders. I aspire to become a manager/leader like Asha & Lata some day. 

I might sound baised, but women managers definitely rank higher in EQ than male managers, at least in my limited experience so far.