"...𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘩𝘢𝘢𝘭𝘯𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘥𝘵𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘪 𝘴𝘢𝘩𝘢𝘣... 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘩𝘢𝘢𝘭𝘯𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘥𝘵𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘪..."

"...𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘩𝘢𝘢𝘭𝘯𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘥𝘵𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘪 𝘴𝘢𝘩𝘢𝘣... 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘩𝘢𝘢𝘭𝘯𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘥𝘵𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘪..."

...said the Iron Man [presser a.k.a. istry wala] as he continued to move the iron back & forth. ["𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘴𝘪𝘳, 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭"].

Yesterday evening, around 10 pm, I went to collect clothes given a day prior for pressing. To my surprise, he had not pressed them. In fact, he was pressing them as I reached there.  "𝘚𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘚𝘪𝘳, 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦. 𝘛𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 (𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵) 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦,'' he said apologetically. "𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥" I said, "𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘴, 𝘴𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰" I added. 

To kill time, I decided to strike a conversation. "𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘺𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴" I said. "𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘺𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘥𝘢𝘺,'' he replied. "𝘔𝘺 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮. 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘺 𝘪𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴, 𝘴𝘰 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘭. 𝘊𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩,'' he added, when he saw my intrigued face, picking the last piece that had to be pressed. It was something made of a pretty thin & delicate material. "𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘺 𝘥𝘶𝘵𝘺 𝘪𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴? 𝘚𝘰 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘐 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘣 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 '𝘤𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘰𝘯' 𝘵𝘰 '𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘬' 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘩!" I asked, very curiously. That was when he said what I quoted above. "𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 & 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨" he revealed, smiling as he continued to chew on his pan masala and finished ironing the last piece.

In our day to day life, the trick indeed is about using the right pace and applying the right amount of pressure (on self and/or others) based on the situation at hand, I thought, as I walked back with the pressed clothes in my hand. And we definitely need to be careful while we are at it. Too fast and/or too less pressure could mean we fail to iron out the issue at hand. Too slow and/or too much pressure could risk irreversible burning damage.

𝘚𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘩𝘢𝘢𝘭𝘯𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘥𝘵𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘪.

"...𝘺𝘢𝘢𝘳 𝘬𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘢 𝘩𝘪 𝘯𝘢𝘩𝘪 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘣 𝘬𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘢..."

"...𝘺𝘢𝘢𝘳 𝘬𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘢 𝘩𝘪 𝘯𝘢𝘩𝘪 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘣 𝘬𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘢..."

...I told a friend, after calling him from a public telephone ["I just did not understand how it happened buddy"].

18th Nov 2009. The day I laid hands on my first car. An amazing Fiat Punto. I had used up a huge chunk of my savings (after already having used a lot of it to pay off my education loan) along with some liberal funding from mom to make the purchase. It was a petrol variant. That, coupled with the fact that the car wasn't known for mileage & my sub-optimal driving, meant I had to be prepared for large fuel bills. So for most of the time, I'd not use the air conditioning. Had to save fuel. I'd drive mostly with the front two windows rolled down to aid cross ventilation.

One evening, I was stuck on the ever clogged LBS road. I was in deep thought & suddenly I felt a thud in front of the car. As I tried to comprehend what had happened, I saw a guy right outside my window yelling at me "𝘉𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘦!" I was flabbergasted! I was stationary for the last 2 min. There was no way I could have hit him even if I wanted to! I tried to talk sense into him, but before I could complete it, he just ran away. "𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘫𝘦𝘳𝘬..." I told my self, still confused at what had just happened. I had a habit of keeping my laptop bag & mobile phones (a personal & a Blackberry given by the employer) in the passenger seat next to me. At the next signal, I reached out to pick up my phone. To my surprise, I couldn't locate either of them. "𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘥," I figured, so I turned on the lights & tried looking around. They were nowhere to be found. At that moment I realized I had been cleverly robbed! While that guy was distracting me, his accomplice picked up my phones from the other window.

I panicked. So I parked the car & found a public phone & just called a friend. It was the first (& only [touch wood, glass, steel & whatever] ) time that I had my phones stolen/lost. Later on, this modus operandi was all over the news. The gang was called "The thak thak gang" [thak thak being the sound of knocking used to distract the victims].

Everytime I recall the incident, I think about the saying - "𝗣𝗲𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗙𝗼𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵". The money that I lost on the value of the two smartphones was way more than the money I would have spent on the fuel had I kept the windows rolled up & the AC on for all the years that I drove the car. 

Since that day, several times every year I have come across situations where I have (or was about to) made short sighted decisions & thought about this incident. It goes without saying, be it summer or winter, since then I kept all my windows rolled up.

While it is difficult to think too much about every decision we make, it always helps to be 𝗣𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗙𝗼𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵 (if not wise too).

"The cycle is too big for her...."

"𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘺𝘤𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘣𝘪𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳..."

is what I always said, everytime 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝.

Her grandpa had gifted her a bicycle on her birthday. For the first year, she cycled with the support wheels. Then I figured she would never learn unless she tried without them. So a year back, I detached them & tried to train her without them. After several days of trying, I saw 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 & so I gave up, thinking the cycle was too big for her.

We did not use the cycle for a few months. Then again we tried for a few days, but again 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝. "𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘺𝘤𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘣𝘪𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳" I told myself, & again, for the next few months,the only thing that occupied the cycle seat was dust. 

Last Monday, I egged her on to try again. I took it to the local shop to inflate the deflated tyres. Her feet still didn't reach the ground in entirety when she sat on the seat. "𝘓𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 1 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩" I told her. "𝘐𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘦𝘸, 𝘴𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 30 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦" I added. She nodded in agreement & we found an empty lane.

As always, the experience was a testing one for her & me. I kept telling her where she was going wrong & she kept giving reasons. 20 mins in & I saw she was able to manage independently for just about 2-3 secs, falling a few times thereafter, suffering a few bruises as 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 to maintain her balance. I kept giving feedback to help her understand what she had to do & that is when she said "𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘺𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨". "𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘦" I thought, but I decided to keep mum for the next few mins. All she took was 5 more mins to start cycling on her own. I was astonished. It was fascinating to see her achieve something in a matter of mins for which I had budgeted a month. She practised for a few more mins before we came back home, sweaty & happy.

Learnings:

- We all need support wheels when we start something new, but ultimately, the real learning only starts once the wheels are taken away. We might have to suffer a few bruises in the process.

- It wasn't she who was failing everytime over the months. 𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫. Perhaps she would have learned earlier, had I tried a bit harder.

- The task often seems 𝐛𝐢𝐠, but maybe that is an excuse we give ourselves for our failure to put in what is required. Sometimes a perceived 𝐛𝐢𝐠 task also needs 𝐛𝐢𝐠 effort & 𝐛𝐢𝐠 patience.

- Pep talk & constant feedback is essential. However, it is important to realize 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 talking & allow the trainee to internalize the feedback & focus on the task.

Finally, this week, 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 at my goal and 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗱 in achieving her goal. 

"....see, I told you she is always smiling... even when she is walking alone....it is really weird..."

 

"....see, I told you she is always smiling... even when she is walking alone....it is really weird..."

...said a friend, pointing at this girl walking towards us in our engineering college cafeteria, as we were sipping on a cutting chai that had a plate of bun-maska for company. This lady always had a smile on her face. I don't recall seeing her angry or upset ever. 

About a month later, we were all sitting on the stairs outside the physics lab. It was viva (oral examination) time, so everyone was anxious. Every student coming out of the lab was given the paparazzi treatment. Everyone asked just one question: "Kya pucha?" (What were you asked?). The celebrity would then narrate how they navigated through the event. In engineering, some vivas were a breeze and others a nightmare. This one was the latter.

A few minutes later, this lady walked up the stairs and, as usual, she had a smile on her face. This friend of mine could no longer contain his curiosity and blurted out to her "How are you always smiling? Aren't you worried? This guy is asking really tricky questions in there!" "You know what..." she looked at him in the eye and said, still smiling... "...I once read somewhere that as we grow older, our default facial expressions get accentuated based on the facial expressions we sport for most of our lives. I want to look like a smiling old lady when I grow up. So I try to keep smiling as much as I can to get to that phase,'' she said, as she just walked past towards where her group was sitting.

After a while, it was her turn and when she came out after the Viva, she got asked the same thing - "How was it?" "It was s**t!" she replied, grinning ear to ear, as she walked past, shaking her head side to side.

The girl's name was Smitha and unfortunately I have not been in touch with her since the engineering days, but I am sure some common friends will get this story to her.

Thank you Smitha, for a life-lesson that was never forgotten. 

"...why are these not bursting!!!..."

"...𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨!!..." I asked a friend.

"...𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵!!.." he said...

Most of my water balloons were not bursting, instead, they kept bouncing off every surface they were thrown at, just like Flubber.

It was a long awaited Holi in the 1990s & a day prior, mom had bought me a nice pichkari & a few packets of water balloons. I was super excited and I woke up early in the morning to fill all the balloons with water. Now, if you are a kid, filling water balloons can be very tricky & it can try your patience.

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞: Deciding on how to fill the water. Using a tap or a pichkari? Both had their set of challenges.

𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞: Deciding how much water to fill in each balloon. If you fill too much, they'd either just burst while you are filling them, or when you try to tie the knot or they'd simply give up in the bag where you'd store them with other balloons. If you fill too less, they'd not burst at all & would just bounce around when thrown at others.

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞: The most difficult one, was tieing the knot after you filled the water. It was a herculean task! So my mom & sisters taught me to use threads to just tie up the mouth of the balloons, till the time I learned to actually knot them up with my index finger & thumb (which was like a huge achievement).

If you were to look at the water as "𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲''/''𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬'' or other such intense emotions & the balloon as our mind;

1. It is 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 to be aware of the 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of the worries/stress. There are taps with unlimited supplies & there are pichkaris that give short bursts of it. We can often control the source/flow of stress. Some stress is good & required.

2. It is 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 to be aware of the 𝗮𝗺𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 of worry/stress we will allow to enter the mind voluntarily. It is nearly always voluntary. The mind is ours & we choose to fill it with thoughts to achieve the desired state. Too much of it can blow our mind to pieces. Too little can make it bouncy & it will not be able to achieve anything while it keeps bouncing around from one place to another, slowly wearing out due to constant friction. 

3. And finally, it is 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 to know/learn when & how to stop the flow & 𝐭𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐭 when we feel we have the optimum amount we need or when we know we have hit the maximum amount we can take in. Without a timely & proper knot, we risk leakage,  making the mind less potent & counter-productive.

So knot it up and move on to the next one, and then the next one, and then the next one. Surely, there will be the odd one that will burst or will be bouncy, but it's all good till the time they are just the odd ones in our lives. 

Eventually, over the years, we have been made aware of the perils of using water balloons & they were rightfully banned. 

Here's wishing everyone a safe and fun-filled Holi!

"Are you expecting...?"

"𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨...?"

"𝘈𝘯𝘺 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘥...?"

"𝘈𝘯𝘺 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯...?"

"𝘈𝘯𝘺 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯...?"

"𝘈𝘳𝘦𝘯'𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘦.....?"

"𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦...?" 

"𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴...?"

"𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯...?"

"𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺/𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬...?"

"𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘫𝘰𝘣...?"

"𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳/𝘴𝘵𝘺𝘭𝘦... 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘶𝘴...?"

Do you ask some of these questions to the male candidates you interview? [𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐀]

No? Good. What about female candidates then? [𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐁]

No? Great. But do you still "𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤" about some of these when you interview women? [𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐂]

No? Brilliant! [𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐃]

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐀 & 𝐁: Erm, we need to work on this.

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐂: You are half way there!

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐃: You are a rockstar!

There isn't probably much to be worry if you are still at "𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐂" and do think about some of these sometimes. That's probably because of the way many of us have been conditioned by the society to think over the years for decades. However, what is required is the need to acknowledge the bias and then work towards breaking it, eliminating it. Awareness is the first big step. A few more conscious steps need to be taken next to move towards conquering the deep rooted bias. So if you are at A/B, try to go up to C and if you are at C, try and attain D.

On this #InternationalWomensDay let's take the pledge to #BreakTheBias

"....ek malai wala dena..."

"....ek malai wala dena..."

...said the lady, to the coconut vendor (let's call him Anna) at the beach earlier this morning ["...give me one with good meat..."]

I looked up, while I was sipping on my nariyal paani (coconut water) when I heard it. I was glad to see someone as fond of malai as I am. Usually at the beach I see people asking for a paani wala nariyal (one with no meat). Anna used his special ring (that many coconut vendors usually wear on one of their fingers to knock on the coconuts) to find out which one has malai/meat and sliced up one of the coconuts for her.

The name coconut is derived from the 16th-century Portuguese word coco, meaning 'head' or 'skull' after the three indentations on the coconut shell that resemble facial features. Coco and coconut apparently came from 1521 encounters by Portuguese and Spanish explorers with Pacific Islanders, with the coconut shell reminding them of a ghost or witch in Portuguese folklore called coco (also côca). [ Source: Wikipedia ]

I finished sipping on my coconut water and handed over the coconut to Anna for getting the malai out. The primary reason I buy coconuts at the beach is to enjoy the creamy & tender coconut malai. The coconut water is just an additional bonus. Anna handed the coconut back to me after digging the malai up and right then I saw something unusual. The lady who had also ordered a malai laden coconut just threw away the coconut in the bin after sipping all the water and reached out to pay Anna. I kept looking at the sight, a bit confused. 

"Why did she ask for a malai wala nariyal if she did not want to have the malai?" I asked Anna, rather curiously. "Some people buy the malai wala nariyal only because the water is sweeter in those. They don't like  malai" explained Anna, as I was gobbling up the last couple of malai pieces, feeling not so great thinking about malai that I just saw go to waste.

- To a common man, all coconuts look the same but the coconut vendors easily understand the presence ( & thickness ) of meat within a coconut with just a couple of knocks. The same is the case with great people/leaders probably. A couple of knocks (figuratively speaking), and they know which individual is good at what. 

- Two different leaders may prefer the same individual/team player even though both of them may be interested in different aspects/skills that the person brings to the table - yet, both the aspects/skills might be closely knit/interdependent, making the individual a common choice for multiple diverse roles/requirements.