"...s**t, I sent a message to my manager instead of you 😱😱😱 ..."

"...s**t, I sent a message to my manager instead of you 😱😱😱 ..."

...I messaged my wife.

I was working for a firm, let's call it Saaz. It was a great firm, but after having spent many years there, I thought I needed to explore more. I got an interview call from a firm, let's call it Guru. 

Now I had never lied to avail leaves, but I needed to take an off for the interview & couldn't tell my manager about it. So I made an excuse & took the day off. However, the fact that I had lied about a leave was weighing heavy on me as I had a great manager & skip level manager. Lets call them Asha & Lata respectively. So while I was waiting for my interview, I texted my wife - "I feel so bad for lying to Asha". It took me a tenth of a second thereafter to realize that I had erroneously texted Asha & there was no way of recalling it. I immediately followed it up with another text - "Please ignore the last message. I will explain tomorrow". I gave the interview & got an offer by evening.

I went to the office the next day & met Asha first, followed by Lata. Both of them at first looked disappointed. It was natural. No one likes to lose a team member. Both the ladies tried to retain me. However, I had made up my mind & they graciously accepted it. Lata was a well connected lady. She offered to help me do some checks on my future employer & my role there. She made a few phone calls & gave me a lot of insights into the kind of firm I was getting into. She did not dissuade me from joining them, but she laid out all the cards for me. Eventually, I joined Guru. 

A few years later, I realised I needed to make a move again. At one point, I landed offers from 2 firms (lets call them Mangal & Shani) in the same sector - Mangal was an MNC and Shani, a trusted Indian brand. I rang up both Asha & Lata for some guidance & we spent a lot of time talking about it. Lata once again offered to do some digging and she called me back after 2 days to share the pros & cons of both the firms. "Knowing you well, I feel you will thrive at Mangal" she said, when she sensed my dilemma. I joined Mangal. To this day, I contact Asha & Lata whenever I am in any career related dilemma & they are always happy to advise me.

Ironically, while I was serving notice at Guru, I found out that Lata had accepted a position in one of the group companies. I was tempted to drop the Mangal offer to get a chance to work with her again, but I remembered my mom always says "whatever happens, happens for good" and so I joined Mangal, never to regret it.

Managers & skip managers can literally make or break careers. While they have a huge impact on you while you work with them, the good ones will go at no length to guide & mentor you even after they are no longer your managers/leaders. I aspire to become a manager/leader like Asha & Lata some day. 

I might sound baised, but women managers definitely rank higher in EQ than male managers, at least in my limited experience so far.