Tuesday, October 31, 2023

"...Why is it all about 'He' and not 'She'?"


"...Why is it all about 'He' and not 'She'?" My little one asked me this question a couple of hours ago this morning.

She had contracted what seemed like a viral infection a few days back, which wasn't going away. So, this morning, I decided to take her to the doctor and stay home with her all day. So, if any of my colleagues are reading this, that's the reason I'm missing the office on our anchor day.

While we were waiting for the doctor, she noticed the framed picture on the wall (as shown in the attached image) and quickly raised the question. Uncertain about how to explain the concept of inclusivity to her, I replied, "You are absolutely right. It should have been 'he/she.' In the past, 'he/him' was a commonly used pronoun to express generic thoughts, but that is changing now with greater awareness. This frame must be a decade old."
 
She countered, "So what if it's a decade old? And why not 'they'?" That question left me stumped. As an HR professional who has always been mindful of diversity and inclusion, I found myself caught off guard. While 'he/she' can be used, she was right – 'they' is even more appropriate to make it truly gender-neutral.

Moments later, the doctor called us in for the check-up. At the end of the visit, I told him about my daughter's observation, and he smiled. I explained how she suggested using 'they' and how I told her that the frame might need an update. "Beta, you know you can't refer to a child as an 'it,' so 'he' is often used as a generic pronoun," he explained.

Now this doctor is really a doctor in all terms (his practice as well as an individual), but I felt the need to defend my daughter here. "Doctor, she already said it should have been 'they,' not 'it' or 'he,' and I think she's right," I replied softly, with a wide grin. The doctor chuckled and said, "You've got a little Greta Thunberg there!" As we left the clinic, holding hands, we hoped that the frame would soon be replaced with a more inclusive one before our next visit.

Charity begins at home, I had learned as a child. So does inclusivity, probably more so.

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