"𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐙𝐢𝐚'𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫," [Republished]

"𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐙𝐢𝐚'𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫," said my 6-year-old daughter, who was in Grade 1 at the time and experiencing her first-ever school assessment that week.

This was about four years ago during the pandemic when schools had shifted online. The school had introduced assessments to evaluate how well students were grasping the subjects. Students were required to stay on camera and unmuted throughout to ensure there was no prompting from parents or family members.

To be honest, I was more anxious than my daughter. I prepped her with pep talks, emphasizing the importance of giving her best effort and not dwelling too long on tricky questions. “It’s okay to move on,” I told her, “so you don’t jeopardize the next one.”

On the day of the assessment, I watched nervously as she tackled the subject I believed she was strong in. After submitting her answers, I reviewed them and was surprised she hadn’t done as well as I expected.

As I pointed out her mistakes, she looked at me and asked, “Why didn’t you help me even a little? I could hear other parents on the call prompting their kids.” Her question caught me off guard, but it was an important moment to explain the concept of integrity. I sat her down and helped her understand why assessments are about individual effort and why doing the right thing matters, even when others around us may not be following the same path. 

Everyone, regardless of age, needs a reminder of certain values from time to time—even when they already know them. Most importantly, there are moments when we feel tempted to intervene, perhaps believing it’s our right or even our duty to do so. However, it’s crucial to discern when intervention is necessary and when it’s best to step back.

There’s a profound line from the show The Crown, where Queen Mary tells Queen Elizabeth: “𝐓𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐣𝐨𝐛 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐥. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞. 𝐓𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧.”  - the application of which is needed far too often in all our lives, more often than we realize.