"It isn't really magic sweety, it's just a trick..

 "It isn't really magic sweety, it's just a trick.. it looks like magic but it's simply an outcome of an action or set of actions that I did which you weren't aware of and did not notice".... I told my 7yo, albeit in simpler Gujarati terms so that she could understand easily.

Whenever anyone in the family has a birthday or special day she often loves putting up a show. Be it a quiz show, a dance show or a magic show. They are all innocent attempts at those things as she is too young to execute something like that. At the end she feels happy she put up a show and we get even more happier knowing she is too young to actually perform something like a magic show on her own. We love the efforts she takes to put up a show to entertain us and the whole act is always pretty charming.

So last week on her birthday, the wife picked up a nice magic tricks learning set as a birthday gift. I had promised the kid that I will teach her a few tricks over the weekend. So a while back we opened the set and I read about the first trick and executed it making her the subject. She was absolutely fascinated at the end of the magic trick and we repeated it a few times (and every time she was equally fascinated). That's when finally I started to explain the concept of magic and how magicians use simple tricks (and deceptive talks) to make something appear magical. Over the next few mins I explained the first trick to her and made her practice the trick multiple times so that eventually she could run the trick on her daadi (granny) now.

The experience made me ponder about how we look at so many things around us as magic. Throughout our lives we are in awe of different individuals for different things that they (appear to magically) do or have ( magically ) achieved. Be it as simple as being magical with a skill, being magically fit, knowing the magic of compounding their wealth, knowing the magic of staying happy all the time, knowing the magic of spreading joy with utter ease and some are magical at mentoring others.... yet it probably could be (besides a lot of hard work) simple tricks/steps/habits/behaviors/processes that they learned or developed and practiced over a period of time that led to something which is perceived as magic by the onlookers.

While the professional magicians never reveal their tricks, in our personal and professional lives, I guess all we gotta do is keenly (and with an open mind) observe and learn, or even better, ask those leaders/colleagues/individuals about the underlying steps/efforts/mindset that went into achieving what we or the people around classify as magic.

Now back to trick no. 2 before the wife comes home. I have been given a target to teach 2 tricks today so that she can charm her mom with them once she returns home in a few mins.

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"That game is a waste of money Viana, trust me!!..."

 "That game is a waste of money Viana, trust me!!...." I told my 6yo...sorry 7yo.

She turned 7 today & we took her out for some fun & games at her favorite place which has some electronic fun games.

"Alright Viana, we played a lot of games now, let's leave for dinner" I said after a while. They are never happy when they get told such things so I got the usual eye roll... "Papa can I please play one of those today? I know I can easily win" she claimed ( firing one of those cute expressions she knows works on me like a charm). She was pointing at a game where you have the claw hanging with various items that need to be picked up with the claw. As a kid (& infact as an adult too) I've almost never won any of those. In the past everytime she has asked me if she could play it, I pushed back saying these never fetch anything. I said the same today but the birthday girl was a bit persistent this time. I eventually gave in & agreed to let her play on the condition that I will help her position the claw (imagine, I, who have always failed...bad decision).

She agreed & I started the game & carefully positioned the claw over a pack of tickets & asked her to hit the button to activate the claw to move down. But before I knew, she used her hand to change the position of the claw & hit the button to move the claw down! I raised my hands in protest....but... miraculously, the claw picked up not one, not two but three ticket bunches! After a few victory cries we took the bunches & ran towards the ticket eater machine (for the uninitiated, the ticket eater counts the ticket and at the end you gotta swipe the card to add those tickets to your card. The tickets get redeemed for items). The ticket eater counted 300 tickets & we both were ecstatic!! We immediately ran towards my wife & mom to announce our accomplishment!!

We then quickly went to check the ticket balance on our card & to our shock the 300 tickets weren't reflecting! That's when it hit me that when we saw the figure of 300 tickets at the ticket eater, in the excitement of sharing the news with the rest, I had forgot to swipe the card to get those tickets credited! I ran back to the counter & saw 2 kids jumping with joy... they had just fed their tickets & probably ended up adding our 300 to their card as well...ofcourse, I did not have the heart to tell the birthday girl about it...

Learnings:

1. Just coz you could never do it,doesn't mean the juniors can't too.

2. Don't always interfere when they are doing something (especially after point 1) coz they probably will end up doing it the way they want - and perhaps rightly so.

3. Excitement is great - but it does fog the mind a bit at times & one may end up throwing it all away if the excitement is not handled well.

4. Sometimes one may end up getting benefitted due to others' misfortune/mistake,even if one never wanted to get the undue benefit. The lady luck likes having fun in her own way & you smile & accept it gracefully on such occasions.

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"Please leave the door open on your way out. Thank you."

 "Please leave the door open on your way out. Thank you." She'd keep telling people who'd get up to leave after meeting her in the cabin.

While many offices have moved to the open office concept, certain positions do need a cabin/closed space owing to the sheer no. of meetings that they get involved in and the sensitive matters that often get discussed with them.

I happened to have a seat right outside this leader's cabin and was always fascinated how she ensured her cabin door was left open most of the time when she was not in a meeting or a call. She'd get up from her seat multiple times in a day (sometimes even after an intense meeting/call) to ensure the door stayed open. She literally practiced an open door policy.

As a result, I noticed all of us felt much more comfortable just walking into her cabin to talk to her - at times even a quick peek would do the job. I wonder if we'd have been as comfortable approaching her if we'd have to knock on that door everytime we wanted to speak to her about something.

The benefit of the open door though was not limited to work related matters. Due to the open door she'd be able to participate in the day to day team banter with much ease. The open door definitely worked wonders in building a camaraderie and perhaps helped build an environment of transparency, trust and psychological safety. We'd be ourselves at work knowing the door would be open yet we weren't being monitored or judged. Rather, the door was open to encourage interactions and to seek guidance at will. It indicated that this leader was open to views, opinions and ideas. The door was always open to allow transparency and trust to walk through without having to wait and knock.

The wonderful leader that I mention here is Chitra Padmanabhan. There were plenty of learnings while I worked with her, but this one resonated with me the most.

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"But Zia's mother was prompting her..."

 "But Zia's mother was prompting her..." said my 6yo who is in Grade 1 and is giving a school assessment for the first time this week.

The school started some assessments to check how the students have been grasping the subjects so far. Students have to be on camera and unmuted the whole time so that the teachers can ensure there is no prodding by parents/family. It wouldn't be wrong to say I have been more anxious than her about these assessments. Have been giving her a pep talk on how it's very important to give it her best but not get hung up on a question if she cannot solve it to avoid jeopardizing the next one.

Yesterday was day 1 and while the assessment was on, I messaged my wife - "I think she isn't able to figure the answers out.. " I was a bit upset... the assessment ended and after sending it to the teachers I checked the answers (I had made a note of the answers). I was delighted to see that she had done way better than what I had expected her to do.

Today was day 2. A subject I thought she is good with and I kept telling her she will do well because of that. Post the assessment I again checked and was surprised she hadn't done well. When I was pointing out her mistakes she asked me why I wasn't helping her even a bit when she could hear other parents on the call prodding their kids. That's when I had to again explain the concepts of integrity and assessments and make her understand how important it was to not look at peers when it comes to doing the right thing.

Same things so often apply in corporate life...

1. When least expected, an individual/team would delight you with their work/performance.

2. At times the most obvious star performer unexpectedly disappoints you.

3. Everyone needs reinforcement of certain values from time to time - even though they may be aware of those.

4. Most importantly, one may be tempted to intervene - at times believing it's their prerogative or duty to do so, however it's so important to be mindful of when to and when not to... and that reminds me of the line from the show called The Crown where Queen Mary tells Queen Elizabeth “To do nothing is the hardest job of all. And it will take every ounce of energy that you have. To be impartial is not natural, not human." - the application of which is needed far too often in all our lives...more often than we realize.

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"Beta, do you want a bottle of water? It's sealed."

"Beta, do you want a bottle of water? It's sealed," asked an elderly lady, possibly in her 70s, with a kind smile.

"No, thank you," I replied, a little puzzled by her offer.

This incident took place about three years ago, on a Sunday evening. On a whim, I pinged a friend and found out he had passes for a musical event happening nearby. The event was specially organized for senior citizens. Everything fell into place, and I decided to take my mom along, knowing how much she loved attending such programs. The evening featured a lineup of talented singers performing timeless melodies of Lata Mangeshkar—an experience my mom truly cherished.

After a short break for refreshments, I returned to my seat, and an elderly lady approached me, asking if I wanted to buy a bottle of water. She clearly came from a well-off background; her polished English and dignified demeanor made that evident. "Why would someone like her be selling water bottles—especially at an event like this?" I wondered.

A few minutes passed as I observed her going around, asking others if they wanted to buy water. She soon approached my friend, who had just returned and taken the seat next to me, with the same question. He, too, seemed puzzled but politely declined. Sensing our curiosity, the lady smiled and explained, "No issues. I’m selling these bottles to support an 85-year-old poor lady I know who has no source of income. The proceeds from these sales go toward helping her."

Moved by her explanation, my friend and I immediately asked for a bottle each. "How much should we pay?" my friend inquired curiously.

"Whatever you wish," she replied with a gentle smile.

Without a second thought, we both knew these bottles of water were worth far more than their printed MRP. We reached into our wallets and handed over a few colorful pieces of paper—hoping they would bring some colorful smiles to a face we had never met.

Hats off to this remarkable lady, who, with a smile on her face and a spirit of selflessness, went around selling water bottles to complete strangers—all for a noble cause.

The event itself was a joy to witness. It was heartwarming to see so many senior citizens immersed in the melodies, repeatedly getting up from their seats to shake a leg. Some danced with the help of walking sticks, and one gentleman even joined in with his walker—it was clear they simply couldn’t contain their enthusiasm. Their unfiltered expressions of joy were a delight to watch.

Nothing soothes the soul quite like the universal language of music, which brings people together across ages and boundaries.

Senior Citizens + Their Favorite Music = Nostalgia, Happiness, and Heartwarming Energy.

 

"Mom, it's like a lucky draw...one of them will hit the bull's eye..."

 "Mom, it's like a lucky draw...one of them will hit the bull's eye..."

...I'd always say jokingly when anyone of us would visit the doctor for a routine ailment (fever/stomach ache etc) and we'd get colorful pills (while some doctors have moved to prescriptions, many still prefer giving their own pills). It was always fascinating to see tablets and capsules of vivid colors - orange, green, pink, shades of blue (am sure a lady might have done a better job of describing the colors, for me the world of colors can be classified into the basic colors mostly) handed over with the routine instructions - one dose each after breakfast, lunch & dinner. I'd tell mom jokingly that the doctor often gave the same 4-5 pills everytime we went for any small ailment and that one of them would end up finding the cause and cure us of it.

There'd be days when I'd collect the pills from the doc but either stop prematurely or not take them at all... most of the times the body would fight the ailment/virus/bacteria on its own and the pills would go wasted.

Recently I found a similar application of the concept around behaviors. When we get told (diagnosis/pills) that a certain behavior/habit (ailment) needs to change, we often either go in denial or at times accept it but do not take corrective measures. Over a period of time then self realization strikes and we end up taking the corrective measures that were needed much earlier. This is where the mind does its job the way the body does (during ailments) its job to rectify issues identified in its own way and in its own time.

So have you spotted any colorful pills coming your way (on request or otherwise) recently? If yes, did you take them in the right spirit? If you did not take them, are you atleast checking if your mind is helping you rectify what needs rectification - else you may soon get subjected to something more unpleasant/uncomfortable than swallowing the colorful pills....

P.S: I have great respect for doctors and their colorful pills. The idea of this post was just to draw an analogy to behaviors with some light humour around the pills.

Link to original post : LinkedIn

"I'll meet you at that junction then.. I'll be holding a white & red cane stick...you might have to spot me I have a visual impairment"

 "I'll meet you at that junction then.. I'll be holding a white & red cane stick...you might have to spot me I have a visual impairment" she said...

For many years I have been doing carpools. Around 2014 my office ( eClerx ) shifted to a place which was about 32kms away at a location not easily accessible via public transport from my home. That's when I started a carpool with some colleagues. While it was environmental friendly, it also helped me save on fuel costs & the cherry on the top was having company daily while traveling. It continued when I moved to Jio which was in same locality.

In 2018 I moved to Marsh India & though the office wasn't too far, I had started liking the pooling thing. I joined some carpool whatsapp groups and an app ( sRide Carpool ) & started getting to meet new people whenever I got some requests for pool.

It was on one such occasion that I got a request on Sride from a lady who wanted to pool with me. I got a call from her as soon as I accepted her request. That's when she informed me about her vision. We agreed to meet at a junction that evening.

With some coordination I reached the spot and saw her (as she had shared, she had no vision) standing there waiting for me. I was as curious as a kid the moment I saw her, having a zillion questions about her life but I contained my curiosity and we struck a generic conversation on the way. From that day, we pooled many times every few days & she'd join me in the mornings/evenings on days when our timings matched.

During our talks in subsequent trips I got to know her more. She was visually impaired since birth however she went about her education with zest and had completed her B.A. & M.A. from a reputed college & was then working at EY. I got to know that she was active in many other ways aiding her own development as well as promoting the development & wellbeing of other visually impaired individuals in the community.

Little to her knowledge, I & the other co-riders were always in awe of her. There'd be days where I'd leave home/office preoccupied with some worries and then I'd meet her and wonder about the struggles she would have been through on most days of her life while she went about trying to blend with the world around her. I'd be mesmerized witnessing her use her smartphone with so much ease - using multiple apps to stay connected and informed.

Subsequently our timings fell out and we stopped pooling and then the pandemic stuck and put an abrupt end to wonderful experience of meeting people from various backgrounds as a part of the pooling.

The lady I mention here is Sadaf Khan and she is active here on LinkedIn as well. I still smile everytime I see her react to any of my posts and hence today thought about sharing a story involving her (with her permission).

Thank you Sadaf for being an inspiration for me and many others. Most of them may not be able to tell you that they draw an inspiration from you and I just want you to know that. Keep rocking!

Link to original post : LinkedIn