"Prem, I need your help..."

 "Prem, I need your help..."

...I messaged a school friend at midnight a week back. We had never spoken or chatted one on one till that moment. But we are connected via our school whatsapp group and on Instagram & Facebook. We have met on a few occasions at the school reunions.

Like many of you reading this, I have had my episodes of joining gyms only to drop out after a few months/years in the past. Before the pandemic hit, I had begun a morning routine & it was a bliss. Come March 2020, Covid ensured the routine stopped. I never quite managed to go back to it then - though it was replaced with some light evening routine, it clearly wasn't enough. I knew I had to do something more towards my fitness and health but wasn't sure who to reach out to.

That's when I thought about Prem. I have been watching images of him training his clients on his social media. So I finally took the step of reaching out to him for help. We discussed the situation and he offered me to join one of his morning drills at a beach near my home. Having always loved beaches I immediately agreed to give it a shot. We start off later this week.

However, just the act of typing it out to someone was enough to egg me on to visit the beach this morning for a run (ended up more being a walk/jog) . I always believe if you write down your challenges/issues (even if its just on a chat window) you do a better job of acknowledging it & better the chances of working on it. So here I am today - a nice run & it felt absolutely great to have done it (to have restarted it) finally & so I decided to pen this down right away from this wonderful morning beach.

There are primarily 2 reasons why I am sharing this:

1. I know there are scores of people out there like me who have been procrastinating that much needed move towards their mental/physical health. Even if one person gets inspired by this, it would have been worth penning this down.

2. A more selfish reason - now that I am putting this out here in the open, it ensures I don't trick my mind into stopping this abruptly. Since I wrote about this, I know I will feel more committed to continue with this. As I mentioned earlier, sometimes when you write it down, you make a better commitment.

If you are in the same boat as me, today/tomorrow is a good day to start/resume - as you may have heard a zillion times in your life - "It's never too late". Go to that gym, hop on that bicycle, get those running shoes on or do whatever you can to take accountability of your wellbeing & health right now (maybe open your to-do list right away and jot it down along with a start date, even before you react to this post or scroll down to the next one).

Find your Prem - text them about your wellbeing/health concerns and it might help you too.

Wish you a great week ahead!

P.S.: Unfortunately, Prem doesn't have a profile on LinkedIn yet (so I am unable to tag him) and I just told him he had to come aboard to help his cause and that of others like me.

Click here to read this on Linkedin.

"It isn't really magic sweety, it's just a trick..

 "It isn't really magic sweety, it's just a trick.. it looks like magic but it's simply an outcome of an action or set of actions that I did which you weren't aware of and did not notice".... I told my 7yo, albeit in simpler Gujarati terms so that she could understand easily.

Whenever anyone in the family has a birthday or special day she often loves putting up a show. Be it a quiz show, a dance show or a magic show. They are all innocent attempts at those things as she is too young to execute something like that. At the end she feels happy she put up a show and we get even more happier knowing she is too young to actually perform something like a magic show on her own. We love the efforts she takes to put up a show to entertain us and the whole act is always pretty charming.

So last week on her birthday, the wife picked up a nice magic tricks learning set as a birthday gift. I had promised the kid that I will teach her a few tricks over the weekend. So a while back we opened the set and I read about the first trick and executed it making her the subject. She was absolutely fascinated at the end of the magic trick and we repeated it a few times (and every time she was equally fascinated). That's when finally I started to explain the concept of magic and how magicians use simple tricks (and deceptive talks) to make something appear magical. Over the next few mins I explained the first trick to her and made her practice the trick multiple times so that eventually she could run the trick on her daadi (granny) now.

The experience made me ponder about how we look at so many things around us as magic. Throughout our lives we are in awe of different individuals for different things that they (appear to magically) do or have ( magically ) achieved. Be it as simple as being magical with a skill, being magically fit, knowing the magic of compounding their wealth, knowing the magic of staying happy all the time, knowing the magic of spreading joy with utter ease and some are magical at mentoring others.... yet it probably could be (besides a lot of hard work) simple tricks/steps/habits/behaviors/processes that they learned or developed and practiced over a period of time that led to something which is perceived as magic by the onlookers.

While the professional magicians never reveal their tricks, in our personal and professional lives, I guess all we gotta do is keenly (and with an open mind) observe and learn, or even better, ask those leaders/colleagues/individuals about the underlying steps/efforts/mindset that went into achieving what we or the people around classify as magic.

Now back to trick no. 2 before the wife comes home. I have been given a target to teach 2 tricks today so that she can charm her mom with them once she returns home in a few mins.

Click Here to read this in Linkedin.

"That game is a waste of money Viana, trust me!!..."

 "That game is a waste of money Viana, trust me!!...." I told my 6yo...sorry 7yo.

She turned 7 today & we took her out for some fun & games at her favorite place which has some electronic fun games.

"Alright Viana, we played a lot of games now, let's leave for dinner" I said after a while. They are never happy when they get told such things so I got the usual eye roll... "Papa can I please play one of those today? I know I can easily win" she claimed ( firing one of those cute expressions she knows works on me like a charm). She was pointing at a game where you have the claw hanging with various items that need to be picked up with the claw. As a kid (& infact as an adult too) I've almost never won any of those. In the past everytime she has asked me if she could play it, I pushed back saying these never fetch anything. I said the same today but the birthday girl was a bit persistent this time. I eventually gave in & agreed to let her play on the condition that I will help her position the claw (imagine, I, who have always failed...bad decision).

She agreed & I started the game & carefully positioned the claw over a pack of tickets & asked her to hit the button to activate the claw to move down. But before I knew, she used her hand to change the position of the claw & hit the button to move the claw down! I raised my hands in protest....but... miraculously, the claw picked up not one, not two but three ticket bunches! After a few victory cries we took the bunches & ran towards the ticket eater machine (for the uninitiated, the ticket eater counts the ticket and at the end you gotta swipe the card to add those tickets to your card. The tickets get redeemed for items). The ticket eater counted 300 tickets & we both were ecstatic!! We immediately ran towards my wife & mom to announce our accomplishment!!

We then quickly went to check the ticket balance on our card & to our shock the 300 tickets weren't reflecting! That's when it hit me that when we saw the figure of 300 tickets at the ticket eater, in the excitement of sharing the news with the rest, I had forgot to swipe the card to get those tickets credited! I ran back to the counter & saw 2 kids jumping with joy... they had just fed their tickets & probably ended up adding our 300 to their card as well...ofcourse, I did not have the heart to tell the birthday girl about it...

Learnings:

1. Just coz you could never do it,doesn't mean the juniors can't too.

2. Don't always interfere when they are doing something (especially after point 1) coz they probably will end up doing it the way they want - and perhaps rightly so.

3. Excitement is great - but it does fog the mind a bit at times & one may end up throwing it all away if the excitement is not handled well.

4. Sometimes one may end up getting benefitted due to others' misfortune/mistake,even if one never wanted to get the undue benefit. The lady luck likes having fun in her own way & you smile & accept it gracefully on such occasions.

Click Here to read this on LinkedIn.

"Please leave the door open on your way out. Thank you."

 "Please leave the door open on your way out. Thank you." She'd keep telling people who'd get up to leave after meeting her in the cabin.

While many offices have moved to the open office concept, certain positions do need a cabin/closed space owing to the sheer no. of meetings that they get involved in and the sensitive matters that often get discussed with them.

I happened to have a seat right outside this leader's cabin and was always fascinated how she ensured her cabin door was left open most of the time when she was not in a meeting or a call. She'd get up from her seat multiple times in a day (sometimes even after an intense meeting/call) to ensure the door stayed open. She literally practiced an open door policy.

As a result, I noticed all of us felt much more comfortable just walking into her cabin to talk to her - at times even a quick peek would do the job. I wonder if we'd have been as comfortable approaching her if we'd have to knock on that door everytime we wanted to speak to her about something.

The benefit of the open door though was not limited to work related matters. Due to the open door she'd be able to participate in the day to day team banter with much ease. The open door definitely worked wonders in building a camaraderie and perhaps helped build an environment of transparency, trust and psychological safety. We'd be ourselves at work knowing the door would be open yet we weren't being monitored or judged. Rather, the door was open to encourage interactions and to seek guidance at will. It indicated that this leader was open to views, opinions and ideas. The door was always open to allow transparency and trust to walk through without having to wait and knock.

The wonderful leader that I mention here is Chitra Padmanabhan. There were plenty of learnings while I worked with her, but this one resonated with me the most.

Click here to read it on Linkedin.

"But Zia's mother was prompting her..."

 "But Zia's mother was prompting her..." said my 6yo who is in Grade 1 and is giving a school assessment for the first time this week.

The school started some assessments to check how the students have been grasping the subjects so far. Students have to be on camera and unmuted the whole time so that the teachers can ensure there is no prodding by parents/family. It wouldn't be wrong to say I have been more anxious than her about these assessments. Have been giving her a pep talk on how it's very important to give it her best but not get hung up on a question if she cannot solve it to avoid jeopardizing the next one.

Yesterday was day 1 and while the assessment was on, I messaged my wife - "I think she isn't able to figure the answers out.. " I was a bit upset... the assessment ended and after sending it to the teachers I checked the answers (I had made a note of the answers). I was delighted to see that she had done way better than what I had expected her to do.

Today was day 2. A subject I thought she is good with and I kept telling her she will do well because of that. Post the assessment I again checked and was surprised she hadn't done well. When I was pointing out her mistakes she asked me why I wasn't helping her even a bit when she could hear other parents on the call prodding their kids. That's when I had to again explain the concepts of integrity and assessments and make her understand how important it was to not look at peers when it comes to doing the right thing.

Same things so often apply in corporate life...

1. When least expected, an individual/team would delight you with their work/performance.

2. At times the most obvious star performer unexpectedly disappoints you.

3. Everyone needs reinforcement of certain values from time to time - even though they may be aware of those.

4. Most importantly, one may be tempted to intervene - at times believing it's their prerogative or duty to do so, however it's so important to be mindful of when to and when not to... and that reminds me of the line from the show called The Crown where Queen Mary tells Queen Elizabeth “To do nothing is the hardest job of all. And it will take every ounce of energy that you have. To be impartial is not natural, not human." - the application of which is needed far too often in all our lives...more often than we realize.

Click Here to read this on Linkedin.

"Beta, do you want a bottle of water? It's sealed."

"Beta, do you want a bottle of water? It's sealed."

...said a senior lady (might be in her 70s I guessed). "No, thank you" I said, a bit confused.

Friday evening I happened to ping Sanjay Gopalakrishnan ( in case you read about my recent post on carpool, Sanjay was the first person I approached checking if he wanted to pool with me... and that's how it all started) when I saw he had passes for a musical event nearby. Things worked out and I took my mom for the event today morning (a wonderful bunch of singers belting out melodies of Lata Mangeshkar).

It was then after a break for refreshments that I returned to my seat and this lady came to me asking if I wanted to buy a bottle of water. She clearly was from a good background, I could see, the way she was conducting herself and conversing in polished English with everyone around. "Why would such a person sell water bottles - that too at such a place...." I pondered.. a couple of mins passed and as I was observing her approach others there, she again came back to ask Sanjay (who had just returned next to me) asking if he would want to buy a bottle. He also seemed confused and politely declined. She might have spotted our curiosity and that's when the lady smiled and said... "no issues, I am selling these bottles for a 85 year old poor lady that I know who has no source of income. The proceeds from these sales go in supporting her..." On hearing this immediately Sanjay and I asked her to give us a bottle each. "How much do we pay for this?" asked Sanjay curiously.. "whatever you wish to.." she replied. I and Sanjay immediately knew these bottles of water deserved much much higher value than the printed mrp and so we dug into our wallets and handed over some colorful pieces of paper that would hopefully bring some colorful smiles to a face we had never seen... Hats off to this particular ma'm who was doing her bit going around selling water bottles to complete strangers with a smile on her face with such selflessness.

About the event, it was an absolute joy watching so many senior citizens enjoying the melodies and repeatedly getting up from their seats to shake a leg coz they just could not contain their enthusiasm and expressed their joy without any qualms.. Nothing soothes the mind as much as the universal language of songs and music.

Thank you Sanjay ( and the organizers "Soulful Saturdays" ) for the wonderful experience and for those who do not know Sanjay, he is a brilliant singer himself - if you know him, be sure to watch him perform live someday if you havent already!

Link to original post : Linkedin

 

"Mom, it's like a lucky draw...one of them will hit the bull's eye..."

 "Mom, it's like a lucky draw...one of them will hit the bull's eye..."

...I'd always say jokingly when anyone of us would visit the doctor for a routine ailment (fever/stomach ache etc) and we'd get colorful pills (while some doctors have moved to prescriptions, many still prefer giving their own pills). It was always fascinating to see tablets and capsules of vivid colors - orange, green, pink, shades of blue (am sure a lady might have done a better job of describing the colors, for me the world of colors can be classified into the basic colors mostly) handed over with the routine instructions - one dose each after breakfast, lunch & dinner. I'd tell mom jokingly that the doctor often gave the same 4-5 pills everytime we went for any small ailment and that one of them would end up finding the cause and cure us of it.

There'd be days when I'd collect the pills from the doc but either stop prematurely or not take them at all... most of the times the body would fight the ailment/virus/bacteria on its own and the pills would go wasted.

Recently I found a similar application of the concept around behaviors. When we get told (diagnosis/pills) that a certain behavior/habit (ailment) needs to change, we often either go in denial or at times accept it but do not take corrective measures. Over a period of time then self realization strikes and we end up taking the corrective measures that were needed much earlier. This is where the mind does its job the way the body does (during ailments) its job to rectify issues identified in its own way and in its own time.

So have you spotted any colorful pills coming your way (on request or otherwise) recently? If yes, did you take them in the right spirit? If you did not take them, are you atleast checking if your mind is helping you rectify what needs rectification - else you may soon get subjected to something more unpleasant/uncomfortable than swallowing the colorful pills....

P.S: I have great respect for doctors and their colorful pills. The idea of this post was just to draw an analogy to behaviors with some light humour around the pills.

Link to original post : LinkedIn