"...Woh aa raha hai, jaldi utar!!..."

"...Woh aa raha hai, jaldi utar!!..."

...yelled the guy.["He is coming, come down quick!"]

When I was a kid, summer vacations meant 10x of our favourite activity. Plucking fruits from trees. Mangoes obviously led the list. Then there was white/black jamun, guava, tamarind, amla, chickoo etc. Some missions were quite easy to conquer, if the trees were easy to access and not on private property. A strong & long bamboo/stick with a hook at the end was essential equipment. 

There was this one mango tree in a bungalow a few blocks away. The mangoes were super tangy & tasty. There was one little problem though. The owner obviously wasn't thrilled about our antics. If he caught us, a nice spanking was in order. Lets call this guy Robert.

Three guys in the group had clear roles. Amar - the main guy who was the eldest, planned the whole thing. Amar could pretty much climb every tree. His job was to climb the tree & pluck the fruits.

The next role was that of a catcher. Fruits had to be caught before they hit the ground. It was no fun eating damaged fruits. Akbar was a great catcher. Ricky Ponting would have been proud of him. 

The last but not the least was...who else but Anthony. Anthony was one of the youngest. He could scamper like a rat. His task was to keep an eye on the bungalow door. The moment he saw Robert coming, he had to run to the tree to warn us so that we could make a run. 

Now, when it came to distributing the spoils, each got to pick a fruit every turn. Amar would go first as he took the most risks & put in the most effort. Next was Akbar - we'd be eating many damaged fruits if it weren't for him. Then it was Anthony & then the rest. When only some fruits were left, Amar would hand them all over to Anthony, probably realising that the number of beatings he took was dependent on Anthony's agility. 

The same setup probably applies to life in general. Everyone doesn't want to be the high-flying Amar that takes risks to pluck the fruit. Some want to be Akbar, some Anthony and yet others just friends of Amar, Akbar & Anthony, doing their bit in the scheme of things.

The fruits that one gets may or may not be commensurate with their role, but is the size/count of the fruit the be-all & end-all of it? Akbar/Anthony never had the will/skill to do what Amar could do, yet they never envied Amar. Amar took the best fruits but the worst beatings/falls, yet climbing trees & leading the gang was his passion. The real fun was not the fruits, but the whole adrenaline rush of planning & executing the heist. The fruits tasted sweeter when we ate them together, discussing what we had accomplished as a team.

Usually every Amar, Akbar & Anthony in the world is at peace with their roles/remuneration, but once in a while a Narad (could be a person or our own mind) comes along questioning things. There are days when Narad gets to us and then there are days when you give Narad a slice of mango along with some salt & chilli powder, asking him to chill.

Caretakers

We've all probably read a property review. This one, though, is a caretakers review/recognition.

We (a family of 9+2) checked into a villa at Panchagani last Friday for a 2N stay. We had some senior citizens who preferred home cooked meals. I've hadn't had great experiences with such meals at villas.

Most villas usually have caretakers for their upkeep & some even cook for the guests. This weekend, we met a family (Kiran & his family) of caretakers who blew us away with their hospitality, surpassing the definition of the term "caretakers" by far.

Friday when we checked in, they all greeted us with smiles. The refreshing adrak masala chai came in no time. I was still skeptical about the food though. We gave them a list of items to prepare for all the meals. When I offered Kiran an advance to get the vegetables/groceries for the meals, he said "we'll settle when you check out, sir" - never heard this from caretakers in the past. Most seek an advance. One of us mentioned about a bonfire & Kiran told us he would set one up Saturday evening.

Friday late evening we came back from exploration, super hungry. They could have prepared the food & left. Yet each member was served hot rotis laden with ghee straight from the tava to our plates at the dining table. The food tasted nothing like any home cooked food we ever had outside. It was superb. To top it off, they fed us as if we were their kids, pushing us to eat more.

Saturday morning, they had to cook 2 items for breakfast, but when one of us made a request for a third, it was accepted with grace. Again, their zeal towards their work showed through the taste of the food they prepared, especially, the lip-smacking parathas.

Saturday dinner was much like the prior evening, but with a local Maharashtrian twist - an out of the world brinjal sabji with their special aamti recipe. Once again, we found ourselves eating more than we could, as they kept serving us gleefully with wide smiles.

Dinner was followed by a nice bonfire, helping us make more magical memories on a super chilly & windy evening under the zillion twinkling stars shining down upon us.

We checked out Sunday after another sumptuous breakfast & bid them good-bye. From the moment we saw them till the time we left, we could not register a single moment where they weren't smiling. There were a lot of other little things they did for our comfort, but for the first time, I am short of words to express.

No matter how much material wealth one accumulates, nothing can replace the feeling one gets by a) visiting a great place, b) getting to eat lip smacking (& super healthy) food cooked (& served) passionately & c) experiencing the feeling of being cared for. We experienced all of this over the weekend, thanks to Kiran & his family.

It probably takes such passionate people to make a good property great, much like it takes passionate employees to make any other good organization great.

Take care, caretakers. There was a lot to learn from you.

"Attempt To Murder"

"Attempt To Murder"

...read the text in bold red font, in the criminal section of the background screening report. 

Employee background screening has almost always been a part my role. I have seen many types of discrepancies (adverse findings). However, most are around education (forgery mainly) & employment (forgery, misappropriation of tenure/compensation). Criminal discrepancies are rare. So far, I might have encountered perhaps five such. This one, however, was the first. 

I informed the employee's manager, department head and business head about it. We then approached the colleague. "Sir, it is a false case put up against me & my father by my uncle (father's brother) due to a property dispute. Please believe me." He pleaded, as he went on to give specifics around the situation back home in Rajasthan. 

"We have to fire him. He is working for a client who is extremely fussy about everything, especially background checks. This won't fly. Besides, we can't keep a possible criminal in the organization!" said the department head, immediately once the employee left the meeting. "Hold on. Let's take some time to process this first." The business head interjected. He was a very level headed leader. Cool as a cucumber. "He is not yet declared as a criminal by the court. Who are we to make him suffer? The only mistake this guy made was not making a disclosure at the time of hiring. But he is in his early 20s, probably not experienced enough to understand the importance of such disclosures,'' he added.

In the next few days, the business leader did some digging. Through his network, he found out that there was some bad blood in the family. There was a possibility of the employee being truthful. He even spoke to his parents over a call. Once he was convinced, he reached out to someone senior on the client side & shared the situation. He requested that the employee be allowed to continue working on their project. The client was assured that the employee would be pulled out in case of any discipline/performance issues, or if the courts ruled against him. Given the pedigree of this leader, he was able to convince the client & it was decided to review the person's place on the team every six months. 

Given that court cases can take decades to close, this individual probably might still be with the same firm. Thriving in the faith shown by the leader in continuing with him, when many others might not have.

On that note, if you are a) A fresher or someone wanting to resume after a break and are struggling to get a job. b) Someone desperate for a big hike. c) Someone without the requisite educational qualification required for the job you are applying for - do not try to fabricate information or documents. The results can be devastating. Nearly every good organization performs background checks on new hires & it can leave a lifelong scar, caught or not. 

It would be an attempt to murder your own career & conscience.

"...oh boy! It's gonna be difficult to jog today..."

"...oh boy! It's gonna be difficult to jog today..."

...I told myself, the moment I parked my bike & entered the beach this morning.

It was a high tide. The sea had gobbled up most of the beach. Usually there is a nice & hard strip a few feet away from where the waves terminate. It is perfect for jogging as you get a decent grip. The area closer to the walls is laden with dry sand that's difficult to walk in, forget jogging. 

I started jogging just besides where the waves were terminating, skirting them. About 2kms later, I reached the point where I usually turn back. I patted my pockets to ensure the bike keys & phone were still there. To my horror, the keys weren't. I pulled the pockets inside out, still hoping like a kid that they would somehow magically appear even when I knew what had happened. 

For probably the 72nd time since my wife gifted me this bike, I had left the keys hanging on the side of the bike after placing my helmet in the storage. I felt a huge lump in my throat. The beach parking is notorious for thefts. So I knew the chances of finding the bike were negligible. I kicked my self.

[𝗔] But hope floats. I remembered that the guy I buy salad from is situated near the exit. I could just call him & ask him to check. But there was a little problem. [𝗕] I had never bothered to take his phone number. I kicked my self for a second time & started running towards the spot.

[𝗖] The high tide wasn't helping & I was getting annoyed with the frequent need to skirt the waves, so I crossed over to the dry sand area. My feet kept sinking in the sand, so it was difficult to continue running. I took pauses but eventually reached the exit.

To my delight, I saw the bike and keys still there. [𝗗] However, I saw a guy sitting on the bike. It was one of the blokes with a camera who works at the beach clicking snaps. "I am sure this dude was just waiting to run away with my bike at the right moment" I told myself and started pacing towards the bike. As I was about to reach, my sane mind said "..or maybe, he is sitting on the bike to protect it from possible thieves". The moment I reached, he said "You forgot your keys" and started walking away. "Thank you" I said, took the keys out and went straight to the soup vendor. The first thing I said was "Dubeyji, please share your phone number."

[𝗔] Can't stop hoping. Had I given up hope and not run back, maybe it would have been stolen.

[𝗕] Contacts are important. But knowing the right person is not enough. Knowing a way to reach them when you need them is also important.

[𝗖] Something which seems difficult (and we are reluctant to try) becomes our best option sometimes.

[𝗗] Depending on our mindset/situation/phase in life, the first line of thought can be positive or negative. Choosing the positive one though, helps spread positive vibes within for sure.

For the sake of bhullakads [forgetful people] like me, I hope the makers of such bikes come up with a solution to tackle this issue.

"...Kitni stories likhta hai. Kaam kab karta hai...?"

 "...Kitni stories likhta hai. Kaam kab karta hai...?"

...asked a friend recently when we met. [You write a lot of stories, when do you work?]

In response to that, my first reaction was a blank stare. Then it hit me that he was actually genuinely curious and I thought it would be worth a discussion. The rest of the talk was in Hindi (and it was fun to converse in Hindi, but I'll translate it to English for the readers' benefit).

"We'll come to that in a bit. First tell me, I heard you watch Anupama?" I asked. Its a daily show my wife tells me many people in the country watch - I have nothing against it though. "Yea, actually my mom and wife used to watch it. Eventually, I started watching it along with them. Just a habit now" he replied. "..and you go to the gym daily?" I continued. "Yes, I try to go atleast on weekdays. But this one is a good habit, right?" he asked, matter-of-factly. "Of course. And how many cigarettes do you smoke in a day? I am sure you end up taking smoke breaks at work due to it?" I tightened the screws now. "Abey woh sun legi! Tu marwaega! ["She will hear you! You will have me killed!"], he protested, while putting a finger on his lips to tell me to not talk any more about it. The Mrs. was just a few feet away from where we were and, clearly, she wasn't thrilled about his smoking habit.

"So, you waste time watching Anupama, you waste your time at the gym daily, you even waste your time in the office taking smoke breaks and I am sure you waste many hours doing things other than work. When do you work?" I asked, grinning now. The point had probably hit home as he started laughing, but I still felt the need to ensure it, so I added - "It takes me just a few mins to write about something and most of the time I write when I am on my evening walk. Otherwise too, if gymming works for your physical fitness, writing aids my mental wellbeing. If smoking breaks help rejuvenate your mind, writing breaks do the same for mine. I don't need to stop or impede my work to write!" I signed off, as the wives walked over and the conversation ended.

"...I do not appreciate the tone used by him in the email..."

"...I do not appreciate the tone used by him in the email..."

...I told my manager, fuming after a heated mail exchange with this guy. Lets call him Gagan. 

[𝗙] Gagan was a peer in another department. Whatever my team worked on, passed through Gagan's team & they scrutinized it as part of their job. [𝗦] Gagan came across as a headstrong person. Never minced words. There would often be a lot of questions from him on our work. I often sensed some hostility from his side. Too many things that could have passed through without the need for clarification were scrutinized/questioned.

Once I was on a vacation & there were a barrage of emails from him. So here I was, shooting out email after email in response to his queries (which sounded like accusations to my mind). Then at a point, I stopped replying & shot an email to my boss conveying what I quoted above. Later that night, I worked on some data for an hour and sent out a long email (yep, as long as my stories) with every data point possible to address past & possible future queries on that topic & the issue was put to rest, but I had added Gagan to the "I hate this guy" list. 

[𝗡] Over the next few months though, we started exhibiting mutual respect for each other. His queries reduced. My team & I ensured we provided adequate data points while sending information to them for processing. This ensured the chances of a query came down drastically. One evening at an office party, we let our guards down a bit. We discussed about things other than work & figured that we were similar in many ways. The ice broke. As time passed, we became something that I never thought I would ever call us - Friends. [𝗣] We understood each other's working styles better & trusted each other more. [𝗔] Unfortunately, just as we were progressing as friends, he left the firm. 

The episode reminded me of Tuckman's stages of group development as taught by our wonderful professor #shailajakarve in her OB (Organizational Behavior) classes. As per his theory, there are 4 stages of group development - Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing & Adjourning. These phases are all necessary and inevitable in order for a team to grow, face up to challenges, tackle problems, find solutions, plan work, and deliver results. Gagan & I experienced this first hand. Each stage indicated by [𝗙/𝗦/𝗡/𝗣/𝗔] above.

We've all learned the basics of magnetism in school. Opposites attract and similar poles repel. We never get to select our peers. While we may find comfort in ones who are opposite to us, we may find ones similar to us and repel (figuratively speaking) them. However, sometimes it takes time to realize that both of us are pointing towards the same North pole/goal. Its okay to be not attracted, but its not necessary to go head to head. Two North poles can very well move in the same direction, side by side.

If you are currently struggling with a Gagan (in your personal/professional life), don't worry, Tuckman's got your back! 

"Mom, I want a cycle"

"Mom, I want a cycle," I kept pestering her when I was around 7.

"Your cousin has a cycle that he no longer uses. Use it for a while. Then we will buy you a new one," she said. We took it.

"Mom, I want a bigger cycle. All my friends have one," I told her a year later.

"Accomplish this task," she said, setting a goal, "and we will buy you a new one."

A few months later, after accomplishing the goal, I reminded her, "Mom, you had promised you would buy me a new cycle once I achieve this."

The next week, she took me to Upadhyay Cycle Mart, and we bought an amazing green cycle called Brute Force.

My school was 4 km away. I used to take a school bus until 4th grade and then the BEST public transport bus until 6th grade.

"Mom, can I go to school on my cycle? I have seen some older kids do that. I can too." I asked one day, unleashing all my charm. This one was a big ask. The way from my home to school involved multiple big & busy streets, a notorious sub-way, and busy junctions. The roads had heavy vehicles at all times. So the answer was a big "NO." But, as usual, I kept at it, pestering her to allow me to go on the cycle. Miraculously, one day, she said, "okay, but promise me you will be very careful; it is very dangerous cycling all the way to school."

Little did she know what was to come next. The neighbors & relatives were all shocked at what she was putting her child through, risking the kid's life this way! "You must be really crazy to allow such a small kid to cycle 4 km through such dense traffic and dangerous streets," said one of the neighbors. "Everything will be fine. He will be careful, I am sure," she assured the neighbor, though I sensed she was assuring herself more while saying it.

For the next 3 years until the end of school, I rode my cycle. Another friend from nearby joined me too. We did have a few scary moments, took a few tumbles, suffered a lot of bruises, but in the end, we made great memories. I had my own "vehicle" for transport, and I felt like a boss! If mom hadn't empowered me, trusted me, I would have never made those awesome memories. From the first tricycle, first bicycle, first bike to the first car, the fuel that drives the wheels of every vehicle I have ridden/driven is the belief and empowerment that she has entrusted me with.

Goal setting, financial planning, empathy, empowerment, emotional intelligence, problem-solving, integrity, motivation, resource management—you name it, and they have it! We all look up to several seniors/leaders for how they exhibit leadership traits that inspire us, but we all often forget about that one leader that we witness from the day we open our eyes on this planet. The leader who doesn't even know they are a great leader and treats their kids all their lives as if they are the leaders.

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers, grandmothers, and siblings/fathers/caregivers who stepped up to the role of a mother. The best leaders. The best teachers. The best friends.