"...just because he knows the doctor doesn't mean he can talk that way..."

"...just because he knows the doctor doesn't mean he can talk that way..." said the receptionist, visibly upset. Let's call her Molly.

I was waiting for my turn at a clinic with three patients ahead of me, two of them were senior citizens. Around 1pm, a young man arrived. Let's call him Draco. He approached the reception & demanded to be seen next. "Sir, your appointment was scheduled for 12. Please wait, we have elderly patients waiting. You can go in after them," Molly politely explained. "But I had a 12 pm appointment," he protested. "Sir, you're required to arrive 15 mins before time," she replied matter-of-factly. "I'm a friend of the doctor's son. I know him well. I'm also studying to be a doctor," he declared, trying to influence Molly. He appeared agitated & stared at her. Assessing the situation, Molly told him to take a seat & go next. 

After a few mins, he inquired, "This patient has been in there for long, when will he be done?" Molly couldn't provide an answer, she just smiled. Shortly after, Draco went in.

25 mins later, Draco was still inside, while we waited. The doc's cabin wasn't soundproof. We could hear Draco discuss personal non medical matters. It was then that Molly made the comment I quoted. "What kind of doctor will he become with such attitude & arrogance?" she added.

Finally, after 10 mins we heard two golden words which brought us joy. "Thank you" we heard Draco say, indicating he was done. Now if only Thank-yous & Good-byes were reliable indicators. At times people continue even after using them. Another 15 mins passed. I was out of patience. In a loud tone (so that it could be heard inside the doc's cabin), I asked Molly, "He has been in there for 40 mins. Could you check how much longer it will take?" I knew she couldn't do that, so I gestured with my hand, signaling her to stay put.

The trick might have worked. Draco emerged within a couple of mins, glancing around, probably trying to identify the source of the voice. The next patient went in. "Sir, you forgot to pay the fees," Molly said just as Draco was leaving. Draco feigned shock before proceeding to make the payment. "They think they can escape without paying just because they know the doc," Molly smirked after he exited. 

The delays didn't stop there. Doc got a personal call that lasted for over 10 mins. The next patient (a 60+ lady already seated inside the cabin) peeped out smiling "It's not me who is keeping him, he is on a personal call. Just so you guys know I am not hogging his time." We all burst into laughter as we very well knew she was right.

Most professionals value their clients' time & experience. Being in high demand shouldn't give one the right to disregard their clients' (often elderly/unwell) time for non-urgent activities that could be done at a later time.

Entitlement is probably a bigger problem today than it ever was. Most of us have likely exhibited behavior similar to Draco or the doc at some point, often without realizing it.

"...you will squeeze the life out of that toothpaste tube now...!"

"...you will squeeze the life out of that toothpaste tube now...!" I said, grinning from ear to ear.

It was during my primary school days. With morning school routines being a universal ritual, caregivers, especially mothers, have the task of dragging kids out of bed every morning and supplying everything from a toothbrush to socks.

On this particular day, things were no different. Mom retrieved the tube of Colgate (toothpaste common in many households in the '80s and '90s, or the more budget-friendly Babool). The tube was completely bent, squeezed dry. Another squeeze might have made it shriek in protest. But the unsuspecting tube was unaware of what awaited it! Mom seized the poor tube and headed to the kitchen. Moments later, she reappeared with a Saansi (Gujarati for the tongs used in the kitchen) in one hand and the terrified toothpaste tube in the other.

Carefully, she rolled the toothpaste until it looked like a tightly curled up snake. Then, like an acupressure expert, she applied just the right amount of pressure at the right spots (mostly at the tube's neck) to extract some paste that probably never imagined seeing the light of day again. I hastily started brushing, but to my amazement, the tube was returned to the cabinet, not the dust bin. Mom saw the look on my face. Mothers often know the question you are gonna ask even before the question presents itself to you. "That will easily last 3 to 4 days more." she declared, confining the curled up tooth paste back where it belonged, for the next few days at the least.

Early life lessons:-

- It's a good habit to get the most out of resources, but not at the expense of something else, especially someone's physical or mental health. Sometimes, all it takes is a mindset focused on saving and optimizing, along with some creative thinking.

- We often don't realize when we're wasting something. That unused paste would have been useless if thrown away. By using it, we not only saved a bit of money but also prevented it from going to waste.

The attached image is of a ketchup bottle at my home yesterday. While its successor has arrived, this one has been relegated to a Sirsasana (headstand) position for the last two days, serving for a couple of samosas. There's still a squeeze or two left in it.

At home, sometimes, we still handle toothpaste tubes and packs of milk, oil, and ghee similarly. However, my 76-year-old mother's mastery in extracting every last drop far surpasses my skills!

Wishing you all a Happy New Year! May you continue accumulating savings and building wealth by making the most of what (not who) can be squeezed in 2024.

"...sir woh kya hai na aaj mera pehla din hai"

"...sir woh kya hai na aaj mera pehla din hai" 

said the guy in a light blue uniform, accompanied by a smart cap. ["sir, you see, today happens to be my first day"]

It was a Friday morning, and I found myself rushing to the office for a meeting. Just minutes before the meeting was due to start, I barely managed to arrive. The next challenge was finding a parking space. To my dismay, I could not spot any vacant slot on the ground level, so I drove down to the basement level, crossing my fingers on both hands. But only if crossing fingers worked on Friday mornings! There was no vacant slot in sight, even in the basement. "Why cant people chill a bit on a Friday and come a little late! Especially the ones who come in cars" I wondered.

Right across our designated parking I saw a wide open space. About 30 empty rectangular white spots looking at my plight with pity. "One. Just one of those beautiful rectangular spaces is all I need!" I thought. I looked to my left & right. Then, like a child rushing to steal chocolates from the fridge (when no one's looking at home), I swiftly parked in one of those spots. Exiting the car, I suddenly spotted a uniformed figure materialize out of thin air. Traffic cops & security guards just apparate like wizards, prakat ho jaate hai.

"Sir, which company?" he inquired, noting the absence of the required sticker on my windshield. "Yaar I couldn't find an empty spot there, so I parked here," I explained. He politely clarified that I couldn't park there. I insisted, but he persisted, mentioning it was his first day and he wished to avoid any issues. Pulling out a business card from my wallet, I urged him to call if there was any trouble. After some pleas, he gave in.

Around 12:30 pm, my phone rang. "Sir, are you in the office?" he asked. "Yes, should I come down now?" I responded, ready to leave my seat. "No Sir. Only a few spaces are left. If they fill up, I'll call you. Just making sure you're nearby in case," he explained before hanging up.

In the evening, I went back to the parking lot. The moment I reached the car, he apparated. "Thank you, dost" I expressed my gratitude. I pulled out my wallet and offered a twenty. He showed me his hand, gesturing that it was not needed. I insisted. This time he did not persist, moving the palm of his right hand towards his face to signal his gratitude. I got in the car, still smiling. Smiling in the same spot I was all but smiling that morning.

As I drove out of the basement, it hit me that, in an attempt to get out of a sticky situation, I had ended up transferring my worries to him. The least I could have done was to come down after a few hours to see if the car could be moved, freeing that noble man's soul.

At times, we encounter kind individuals who go out of their way to assist us. It's important to acknowledge our responsibility for our actions and how they might affect those offering help. In our haste to solve our problems, we might unintentionally burden them.

"...Why is it all about 'He' and not 'She'?"

"...Why is it all about 'He' and not 'She'?" My little one asked me this question a couple of hours ago this morning.

She had contracted what seemed like a viral infection a few days back, which wasn't going away. So, this morning, I decided to take her to the doctor and stay home with her all day. So, if any of my colleagues are reading this, that's the reason I'm missing the office on our anchor day.

While we were waiting for the doctor, she noticed the framed picture on the wall (as shown in the attached image) and quickly raised the question. Uncertain about how to explain the concept of inclusivity to her, I replied, "You are absolutely right. It should have been 'he/she.' In the past, 'he/him' was a commonly used pronoun to express generic thoughts, but that is changing now with greater awareness. This frame must be a decade old."

 

She countered, "So what if it's a decade old? And why not 'they'?" That question left me stumped. As an HR professional who has always been mindful of diversity and inclusion, I found myself caught off guard. While 'he/she' can be used, she was right – 'they' is even more appropriate to make it truly gender-neutral.

Moments later, the doctor called us in for the check-up. At the end of the visit, I told him about my daughter's observation, and he smiled. I explained how she suggested using 'they' and how I told her that the frame might need an update. "Beta, you know you can't refer to a child as an 'it,' so 'he' is often used as a generic pronoun," he explained.

Now this doctor is really a doctor in all terms (his practice as well as an individual), but I felt the need to defend my daughter here. "Doctor, she already said it should have been 'they,' not 'it' or 'he,' and I think she's right," I replied softly, with a wide grin. The doctor chuckled and said, "You've got a little Greta Thunberg there!" As we left the clinic, holding hands, we hoped that the frame would soon be replaced with a more inclusive one before our next visit.

Charity begins at home, I had learned as a child. So does inclusivity, probably more so.

"...bang the door with force, its useless!!..."

"...bang the door with force, its useless!!..."

...exclaimed the uncle, giving the poor door an angry stare. 

We have an old-fashioned lift in our building. It has two grills that need to be slid shut for the lift to move up/down. There is a door on the outside and then one on the inside that is attached to the moving unit. If either of the doors doesnt close well, the lift lady will keep on saying "Please close the door, kripaya darwaza band kijiye" till the end of eternity (were you to not pay heed to her request). 

Lately, it has been seen that when one enters the lift on the ground floor, even though one shuts the doors properly, the lady keeps singing. As a result, people keep sliding the grills back and forth. Two things are noticeable :-

1. Every person uses increasing force to bang the door shut with each attempt.

2. Nearly everyone fiddles with and closes the door closest to them, the grill connected to the lift.

On this particular day, only three of us were in the lift: a young man, the uncle, and myself. When the lady kept asking us to shut the door, the uncle seemed annoyed and asked the young chap to shut the inner door with force. 

There are a couple of noteworthy observations here.

1. This problem only occurs on the ground floor, not on any other floor. If the inside door was the issue, it would affect all floors.

2. The outer door issue wasn't getting fixed even when people banged it with force. However, something eventually clicked, coz the lift would move after a few tries. 

Later that day, I faced the same issue when I was coming up again. I closed the doors but the lift lady refused to stop talking. I opened the outer door again and gently slid it shut until it couldn't move any further. That was it, the lift lady took a chill pill and the lift moved up. Apparently, there's an issue with the outer door that causes it to rebound slightly when shut forcefully, breaking the connection. When closed gently, it stays put. However, most people (myself included initially) were using force to shut it, assuming it required strength.

1. Often, when we face a problem, we instinctively knock or hit the nearest / most accessible door, without logically considering which one needs attention.

2. When things don’t work as expected, often force/push/pressure comes as the first line of action, whereas sometimes it is the exact opposite of the actual need. Only when the force fails to yield, do we try a softer approach, instead of the other way round. 

"Bola na, zor se band karo tabhi hota hai" [Told you, use force to make it work], the uncle had said. Little did he know that the lift eventually moved due to luck, not force.

What we believe works well, isn't always what truly works well.

"...why is this creaky sound not going away..."

"...why is this creaky sound not going away..."

...I said to myself.

While driving to work last Tuesday, I noticed a creaky sound each time I shifted gears. It took me a few minutes to realize the sound was actually coming each time I was pressing the clutch (to switch gears). After noticing it for 5 more minutes, I made a note in my To-Do list to visit a mechanic for it. However, the creaky sound continued to play on my mind. Then, suddenly, I recalled something from my memory.

Around 15 years ago, I actively participated in a renowned online forum for car enthusiasts. I used to read car reviews and threads on car related issues. There was one particular dude who used to show up with a lot of questions - a lot around noises in his car. "My door makes a squeaky sound when I close it, any idea why?" "My steering wheel makes a clicking sound when I turn it too quick, what could cause it?" "My cabin noise is too much when I drive over 100, how to address it?" "My suspension seems to make a noise when I hit a pot hole. Shall I get them checked?" Given the forum's wealth of expertise, he always received valuable insights. 

One day, he posted yet another inquiry about a peculiar sound. An experienced forum member swiftly responded with a refreshing perspective. He said - "Buddy, it's wonderful that you're so attentive to your car and your driving experience. However, at times you need to chill. You are missing out on the pleasure of driving due to constant worrying about the noise. Sometimes it is best to turn up the stereo volume and enjoy some loud music – all the noises that you may be hearing will get suppressed by the good music. So crank up the music, enjoy the drive. Cheers."

This response has stayed with me. It is so apt for every aspect of life. Often, we find ourselves entangled in trivial worries at work or in our personal lives, losing sight of the positive aspects surrounding us.

So then I turned up the music and the creaky sound stopped reaching my ears. I haven't dismissed it (I made a note of it), but the music helped get my mind off it.

Turn that music volume up, if you haven’t already.

"...sorry, kiti? Samajhla naahi..."

"...sorry, kiti? Samajhla naahi..."

I said in Marathi, with a weak smile [sorry, how much? I did not get what you said.]

A few weeks ago, I noticed white spots on my leather shoes. Despite my efforts with the shoe polish I had at home, the spots remained stubborn. So, I decided to have them polished by a kind cobbler near the railway station. As I headed towards that cobbler, I spotted another one two blocks away from my building. I'd seen him often as I passed by. I had noticed he used only his left hand due to an issue with his right hand. Opting to support him, I approached him for his services.

Approaching him, I requested a shoe polish and inquired about the price. He mumbled, making his words hard to hear. That's when I responded with what I mentioned earlier. He repeated, this time showing three fingers and said, "Tees, Tees" [Thirty, Thirty]. I nodded and agreed to the price before giving him the go-ahead.

He began by taking a polish container and opening it using his left hand and left foot. Hesitantly, I asked, "What happened to your right hand?" He looked up, half-smiling, and replied, "My right side got paralyzed a few years ago." It became clear why his initial words were difficult to understand. Only the left half of his mouth worked. Learning this, I refrained from asking more and observed him silently. He displayed remarkable skill in his craft, despite the limitation of one set of limbs. He utilized his functioning hand and foot, even tactically using his non-functional arm to support his work. It was difficult for me to explain how he managed to execute the task using the inoperable limb, so I shot a video of him in action. 

Upon completion, I felt the urge to pay him more than he'd asked for - just Rs. 30/- for the excellent job. However, unsure if it would be well-received, I paid the agreed amount, expressed gratitude, and left, with a resolve to return for future cobbler needs.

It was another humbling encounter and a reminder that possessing a fully functional body is a privilege not everyone enjoys. Despite challenges, many strive alongside us, raising families and meeting their needs with pride.

If any of you stay in Vile Parle (E), he operates at the junction of Hanuman road and Tejpal road near the railway station. Visit him next time you want to mend/polish your footwear (or get your umbrella repaired). You might just end up mending more than your footwear....

Link to video:  https://www.linkedin.com/posts/jimishbathia_sorry-kiti-samajhla-naahi-i-said-activity-7101820490423369728-Fyu8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_android