"...I am not sure. Shall I take the offer & then decide....?"

"...I am not sure. Shall I take the offer & then decide....?"

...asked the guy at the other end of the call.

He had an interview call. The dilemma was whether or not to take the new assignment if the role and compensation offered were suitable. He wasnt sure if he wanted to move from his current firm. The options he had:

1. Decline the interview & continue with his current employer (till such time something triggered the need for a change or if something really amazing came his way).

2. Appear for a round of interview & then decide.

3. Go through all interviews, take the offer if selected & then decide.

The advantages of 3 above:

1. Use the offer to get a better offer from his current employer (if he feels he is underpaid).

2. Use the offer to negotiate other offers that could come his way.

3. Join the new employer. 

Option 3 is lucrative. However, I feel it is not really the best.

First, I think one should give an interview only if one is fairly sure about the need for a change. Not for "let me see my market worth'', "let me see if I still have it in me'', "𝘥𝘦 𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘩 𝘥𝘦𝘬𝘩𝘵𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘪 [let me see how it goes]" etc - this not only wastes time of the HR, hiring manager & consultants but also plants seeds of confusion in one's own mind.

Second, if one must, then it is better to make a firm decision at the offer negotiation stage. Make sure you are happy with the company, role, management & compensation offered and will join them. If things don't work out & you reject the offer, well & good [𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲]. But if you think "𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘬𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦 [let me take the offer letter then decide]" then that's not the right practice in my opinion. 

Once an offer is accepted formally, the HR stops sourcing for the position. The hiring manager stops worrying about it too & plans work ahead basis the candidate's committed joining date. Now if the candidate decides to not join [𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝗗𝗿𝗼𝗽], not only does it create a lot of rework (restarting the sourcing cycle besides the lost time value) for the other firm, the candidate ends up being possibly blacklisted by the hiring consultant & the company. Yes, there are thousands of companies out there, so possibly one may not care if they are blacklisted, but it is a small world & if it is a small industry, there is a small chance of a candidate encountering the hiring manager or HR down the line. Besides, it is also about integrity and ethics. While seeking an offer break up [and not the offer letter] in the negotiation stage & using it to shop around (after declining the offer) is still a grey area, I think accepting the offer letter and then dropping out later surely isn't very professional.

If one absolutely must, for genuine reasons, then it is best done within a few days of offer acceptance and not on or closer to the date of joining. Value the other firm's time and resources, don't be a _ _ _ _ [the word rhymes with twerk].

"...kabhi kabhi aurat hi aurat ki dushman hoti hai..."

"...kabhi kabhi aurat hi aurat ki dushman hoti hai..."

...the lady said, fuming. ["At times, women are women's worst enemy]

It was around 2010. The firm I was working with was on a huge hiring spree, so they'd often organize walk-in interviews. Although I was never into recruitment, on one such occasion I was told to accompany the gang to a hotel where the walk-ins were scheduled. My job was to facilitate the operations of the drive.

For most part of the day, I was seated a few feet away from one lady (she was a senior manager) from our business side. Her department had won a mandate and she needed to hire 12 people to kick start the operations in the coming month. She and her colleague had come there hoping to close some of those open positions. After about an hour, a lady came in for the interview. She introduced herself and shared that she was staying close by with her husband. After some general questioning, the following happened :

"Any plans of having kids?" 

"Yes ma'm"

"In the near future?"

"Maybe, let's see"

"But it has been 4 years since you were married, surely you and your family might want one now?"

There was a moment of awkward silence. With some visible discomfort and in a low voice, the candidate replied "We have been trying for a long time ma'm, now it all depends on the Almighty"

This was followed up by some more discussion and after the lady walked out, the interviewer dropped her resume in the "Rejected" bucket. "Too much uncertainty around her family plans,'' she told her colleague.

Later in the day, another lady walked in. She sounded experienced and confident. 

"So how will you manage work with 2 little kids?"

"I will manage ma'm. My husband works the night shift. My mother also stays close by, so we will take her help as well."

"Won't you need a full-time nanny or a creche if you start working?"

"That's too expensive, so we will figure out a way once I get a job .''

Her resume also met the same dreaded bucket. "I know how difficult it is to work full time with 2 kids. She will not be able to manage" she declared, as the next candidate was called in. 

After about 15 min, I was a bit hungry. It had nothing to do with the fact that I had spotted beautiful curvy samosas stocked up at a farsan shop near the hotel. Having no intention of offending the samosas, I walked down to the shop, ordered a plate and sat down at one of the tables. That's when I heard a familiar voice say what I quoted above. When I turned to look, it was the same lady (mother of 2), talking on her phone. Pouring out her interview experience to someone at the other end, just as she poured a load of ketchup over the unsuspecting samosa on her plate.

Be it family/friends or interviewers/bosses/colleagues, unfortunately, such biases and stereotyping still linger around.

"...50?? Your dad always took 20 for these jobs! You are too expensive...."

 "...50?? Your dad always took 20 for these jobs! You are too expensive...."

...said the other customer, while I was waiting for my turn.

The left side strip of my right foot sandal had come off. So after a few days of procrastination I finally landed up at a cobbler near my home. The cobbler was a young chap, looked like a guy in his late 30s. Since I had seen the cobbler's little corner often while I passed by it, I had always seen an older man (perhaps in his 50s) working there.

While I was waiting for my turn, I was observing him mending the footwear of another customer who was waiting when I reached. The cobbler was about to finish the job and was pushing the awl needle through the footwear for the last time before cutting the stitching thread. When the customer enquired about the cost of mending, the cobbler quoted fifty bucks. That was when the customer said what I quoted above.

On hearing this, the cobbler gave a wide smile and said "Sir, my father always held his craft in low regards and hence charged very less for decades. Had he asked for a fair price, our family could have faced lesser hardships. Maybe I wouldn't be here today (and could have been better off) if he charged his customers a fair price. I do not want my son to be sitting here doing this job after another 15 years Sir..." The customer just chuckled in response, as he dug into his wallet to fetch 50 bucks.

We often spend thousands without a second thought when we shop for clothes and footwear, but when it comes to spending a fraction of that cost on mending something that is broken, we often start thinking about the price to be paid.

Coming to pay parity, this probably applies to whats happening in some job markets. Many people are now asking for fair compensation and employers feel the price quoted is too high. Barring a few exceptions (where the asking pay is indeed very high due to demand/supply mismatch of quality talent), perhaps the asking pay isn't expensive when compared to what it brings to the table. Perhaps the talent of the past was inexpensive and underpaid and fair pay is getting discovered as market dynamics change. 

Next time you go to that cobbler, tailor, vegetable vendor, plumber, carpenter, evaluate the asking price they quote against the quality of service offered & utility served. Add to it the opportunity costs you would incur if you were to not use their service/offerings.

Also, consider mending that footwear/dress/furniture/gadget before you take the easy way out of replacing it. A good repair job will not only save you a lot of money in the longer run, it will also support small businesses to thrive alongside the larger ones.

The To-Do List Massacre

...and just like that, within minutes, I was able to 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗮𝗹𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝟰𝟬% of the items on my long To-Do List...

The "𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸𝗲𝗻𝗱" list is something I started over a decade back. It started with 3-4 items (and hence the name was 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗧𝗼-𝗗𝗼). Over the years, the number of items started going up, threatening to break into three-digit figures. Some of the "weekend to-do" items added 6-7 years back still linger around on the list.

So this weekend, I put in a focused effort to complete as many as I could - a lot of them were low hanging fruits. But even after all the effort, all I could knock off was just 10% of the items on the long list. 

Yesterday, late evening, I opened the list again. I examined each and every item and started classifying them into 2 buckets. 

𝟭) 𝗘𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹/𝗖𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹/𝗛𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼

𝟮) 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼/𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁

   𝟮𝗮) 𝗔𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝟲 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀

   𝟮𝗯) 𝗢𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝟲 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀

The next step was fun. I started hitting backspace one line after another, deleting all the 𝟮𝗯) items, while all the 𝟮𝗮) items witnessed the "𝘛𝘰-𝘋𝘰 𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘦" in horror, probably fretting at the possibility of getting eliminated too. All the 𝟭)s probably felt relieved, to get some much earned breathing space and importance on the pricey "To-Do" real estate.

By the close of the weekend, while I had closed 10% of the tasks listed, I had simply deleted 30% that fell under 𝟮𝗮). That resulted in an overall reduction of nearly 40% in the list. The next target is to keep chipping away at the remaining 60% - via closure or elimination.

The items that got deleted were unlikely to get done if they werent critical and open for a long time. The experience was quite liberating. They say one should keep one's house/desk/surroundings uncluttered to aid clarity and productivity and help reduce stress levels. The same principle probably applies to our "To-Do" lists. Long ones can be overwhelming and one might just keep procrastinating clearing the items on it due to the sheer number and variety of items listed therein. 

When was the last time you cleaned up your To-Do list (be it around personal tasks or office/work related tasks)? A Monday is probably a good day to give it ( #SafaiAbhiyaan ) a shot. Trust me, it is indeed liberating. 

"...yeh school bhi kya galat jagah pe banaya hai yaar..."

"...yeh school bhi kya galat jagah pe banaya hai yaar..."

...I cribbed to the auto driver. ["...this school has been built at such a wrong place..."]

I stay near a railway line. Often we need to go to the other side of the line for which we need to drive over a very narrow fly over. It leads into a narrow street which is perennially jammed, especially at certain hours. Half way up the street there is a school (which, incidentally, my little one goes to). So when a set of classes are about to start or have just been completed, there is utter chaos with parents, caregivers and drivers lining up (with their vehicles/autos parked near the gate) to pick/drop their kids. 

On that particular day, I was returning from the other side and had to reach home immediately to dail in to an important office call. However, my trip coincided with the end of one of the school batches and the street was full of little blobs sporting green and blue uniforms. Scampering around just like black ants rushing around a crystal of sugar. Cars with parking lights flashing were scattered throughout the street. I knew I would be late for the call and hence I muttered what I quoted above. While I wasn't anticipating a response from the auto driver, he had a view on the matter. "Sir, the school isn't built in a wrong place. It is a very old school and when they built it there was hardly any traffic here. Slowly the residential buildings grew taller and more and more people started buying vehicles which started choking up the street. The school is at the right place" he said, looking back at me from his driver's seat, flashing an innocent yet wise wide grin that revealed two missing incisors in his upper jaw.

Quite often, it is us who are in the wrong place and/or at the wrong time, but unknowingly end up cursing/blaming the surrounding place/people for our woes. Ironically, sitting in that auto at that moment, I was adding to the traffic, probably delaying the school kids from reaching their school/home.

"...he is unbeatable today..."

"...he is unbeatable today..."

...typed one of the cousins. 

The first lockdown was hard for everyone. People took to all kinds of online engagement like playing housie/bingo & poker in the evenings.

It was on one such evening where I was playing online with cousins. The Poker Gods seemed to favor me that evening. I kept getting good cards & even on riskier calls/bets, the lady luck seemed to have my back. After about an hour, I was up 3x. "Looks like I should just play every hand. Given my luck today, even bad cards may end up winners" I thought, as the goal of moving from 3x to 4x was dancing in my mind. 

Eventually, I started playing loose. Started making a lot of hero calls, riskier bets. I knew it was my day, so if I continue taking risks I will end up higher. One of the cousins playing with us is a very good player. He saw my pattern of play & started trapping me by feigning poor hands. In no time, my stack went from 3x to 2x. The target of 4x was mocking at me. I had to take a few more risks to move to 4x. Eventually, in the next 30 min I ended up going below my buy-in due to the risky plays. 2x became 0.5x. I was now at a loss with half a buy-in lost. The cousin was now up significantly & ended the evening with the highest stack while I ended up with a loss. 

The cousin said something to me later. He said "Remember one thing. Take risks when your stack is small, but once you are ahead, cut down on the risks. Preserve your stack & work towards increasing it with minimal risks, otherwise you will always risk throwing away what you have built."

This advice hit deep & stayed with me. I could connect it to so many aspects of life. Be it habits, passion, wealth creation, recreational activities, sports or any other aspect of life. Moving from level 1 to level 3 is great. But when we get too greedy & try to move from 3 to 4, 5, 6 & beyond by taking too many unconventional risks, we risk losing what we have achieved till that point. A 3 can easily go back to 2, 1 or even 0. Moving from 2 to 4 is seen as 100% profit, whereas moving from 4 to 2 is seen as only 50% loss, whereas the fact is that we lost 100% of what we had gained from the starting point. 

The reason I penned this down is that about a month back I heard about the passing of a person in my locality. He drove a high end car, had a bigh house. Seemed financially well set, but often worked for 14-15 hours a day. Could be very passionate about his work or perhaps wanted to accumulate more for his retirement/family. However, his passion/goals perhapsgot the better of his wellbeing. The untimely event brought it all down to zero.

So often we run behind things, taking unnecessary risks, while risking our physical, mental & financial health. Take a pause & think if the risk is needed. And if it is, at what cost? What are we ready to put at stake to take the stack to the next level? Should we take calculated risks on AA or reckless risks on 72 (considered as the weakest hand in poker)?

"...but why is half glass costing Rs.5 and a full Rs. 7 ? Shouldn't the full be Rs.10...?"

"...but why is half glass costing Rs.5 and a full Rs. 7 ? Shouldn't the full be Rs.10...?"

I asked mom, while eagerly waiting for my treat to arrive. It was the late 1980s or early 90s.

Mom used to visit the vegetable market nearly 3 to 4 times a week. She was always open to taking me along. The incentive for me - once she was done buying veggies, we'd walk into a big sugarcane juice center for a glass of iced juice. It was always fascinating to watch the sugarcane get crushed between those huge drums and, just when you thought there was no juice possibly left, the guy would fold the cane sticks and pass it again to squeeze some more juice out - all this while you could hear the sound made by the ghungroo tied to the gears/wheels of the machine. Masala dabbis were kept on each table. One could make the juice tastier by sprinkling some masala over it. The price for half a glass was Rs.5 & the full was Rs.7.

For the first time when I saw the rate board I got confused. The teachers at school had clearly explained what half & double meant. Double of 5 is 10, half of 7 is 3.5! So I asked mom about it. "If you look carefully, the half glass is not really half full. It is almost like 3/4th. Hence the rate of half glass is a little more than half of the rate of a full glass" she said, giving me an "aha!" moment.

Cut to a few years later, I started taking a liking to Manchow soup. For every dining outing, I'd order it. The unsaid rule is that you always share soups. "One by two please" is what you tell the waiter. Not sure if you have ever noticed, but the total quantity of a one-by-two is always greater than 1 bowl. The chef doesn't divide the soup after pouring it all in one bowl. He will just pour it separately in two bowls - filling about half (which is always more than half) of each. Once I figured this, I decided to always order a one-by-two even if I was ordering it for one person, coz two halves were more than one full. Most restaurants don't  serve half, so you can only order a full bowl. Ordering a one-by-two then is always more beneficial from the economic point of view.

This probably also applies to many facets of life. Often we chase 100% or full potential of something and look down upon partial achievements. While there is nothing wrong with chasing a full 100%, a perceived (or labelled) half is often more than half. We all often use the term half (eg: that is just half the job done, this one is only half as good) so often to refer to partial things/work/achievements when the fact could be that it is actually significantly more than half. Maybe 60-70% or even 90%. When we combine such perceived halves, we will often land up with more like a "one and a half" and not one.

A few years later, when I visited the same juice shop, the prices had been revised. The rate board had a couple of more line items.

Half:  Rs. 7

Half without Ice: Rs. 8

Full: Rs. 10

Full without Ice: Rs. 11